10 People pleasing

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Piecing together the pieces, the lines and the scenes and now it is clear

Lack of boundaries have been served as my breakfast this morning

Lack of self love, self care and self cherishing a blood corpuscle missing in my veins

I have always shrunk myself to fit the mold

I have always clipped my wings to stay low and unseen

I have always been a skeptical being when it comes to my own beliefs

Harshness is the language I use when I speak to my reflection in the mirrors

A hazed view, not too clear not too ambiguate, just a shadow standing there not recognizable

It is my fault, it is my mistake I always repeat a Symphony I composed to execute myself every time I feel uncomfortable

People pleasing is what dimmed my flame

To ignite and light up my world

It is fearing the loosing, fearing to be misunderstood and misjudged

It is fearing saying "I think" a word far from being my merit

Self love or as they call selfishness and self-centered is what I fear to be called

A song I keep listening on repeat whenever I say "I want" "I love" and "I aspire to be"

I was left with a shattered mind, broken soul, heart full of holes and a body full of cracks and missing stones

I was the easily replaced, the back-up plan and the C plan

My presence serves as a punching bag for those who hate themselves

I was the river to their stones and the ocean to their garbage

They were the cloud that concealed my sunshine lights

They were the one feeding me spoons of hate, unworthiness and ugliness

I was the one whom they always put on hold

I was never been cherished or loved

By the monsters I danced for

At the end they didn't even respect me

I took it personal to the bone

When I looked to my eyes and searched for my soul

The only thing I saw is a Yearning girl saying the untold:

Let yourself stretch and expand

Let your voice be heard, be vocal and loud

Let yourself be seen, the sun shines even through clouds

It is the way you weigh in your eyes that matters

Not the opinion, the judgment nor the valence of their words that matters

Not even the way you look you should despise

Why would you choose to see your reflection in their hideous eyes?

You deserve every slice of love you gave to the untrue beings

You need to restore, Reconcile and Lavish your soul

Pleasing yourself is what will resolve the detest you hold!

people will never be satisfied with you, so do what satisfy your soul be authentic, be true and be yourself

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people will never be satisfied with you, so do what satisfy your soul be authentic, be true and be yourself.

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