The Fear of Falling Apart

3

Arielle's POV
"What do you mean, I need to make up with mom and dad?" I asked, angrily.

Does he even know what they've put me through? What they've put us through?

"Arielle, I'm getting out in two months. Two." He held up two fingers. I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, your point is?" I look at him, scruffy hair, exhausted face and all.

"I just think it's time we start having a healthier relationship with them."

I was quiet, processing his words.

Healthier relationship.

Do you even know how many times I've tried that? To be better for them?

And how many times they just threw it back in my face?

I sigh, turning to look at the clock.
5:30
They close in 30 minutes, might as well leave now.

"Bye Addison." I tell him quietly.

"No, Arielle!" I ignore his cries, and put the phone back.

I get up, and leave. Without another word.

I walk home, thinking of what he said.
*
"H-hey mom." I stared at her suspiciously, what the hell is she doing here?

"Hey yourself." She muttered, walking into the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes, but thought I should at least try. I walk into the kitchen, and see her sitting down at the round wooden table. I sit across from her, and a wave of Déjà Vu hits me.

"Mom!" I run into the kitchen, and drop my bag at the end of the table.

She holds up a finger, but even then, the grin was still on my face.

"Yes, yes, can I take that appointment then?" I sit down across from her, waiting for her to finish speaking on the phone.

"Alright, bye-bye, thank you for your time. Have a nice day." She put her phone down on the table, and threw a glare in my direction.

"What?" She snapped.

"I got a hundred on that science test!" I exclaimed, excited. I had worked so hard, staying up studying. I wanted to prove myself I could do anything I wanted, if I put the effort into it.

My mom looked me up and down, making me squirm.

"Is that it?" She asked coldly.

"I just thought you'd be happy for me." I tell her, getting up. I grab my bag when she slams her hands down on the table.

"Bitch! You little ungrateful bitch! I work for you, and you give me sass?" she yelled, standing up as well.

I let go of the bag strap I was holding on. My bottled anger threatened to spill over, as I tried to control my temper.

"Me? I'm the fucking bitch? Tell me how! I just tell you that, an-"

She cuts me off, pointing fingers at me. "Just because I'm not smiling doesn't mean I'm not happy! Why can't you understand that! It's so damn simple!" Anger bubbled in the pit of my stomach, and I stuck my middle finger up.

"Fuck you! I hate you!"

"Go fuck yourself! Grades aren't going to get this family anywhere!" She screeched back.

I stood up, not able to talk to her all of the sudden. I start to leave the kitchen, when she scoffs.

"Where you going bitch?" I froze.

I clench my jaw, and turn around to a smug looking mother. "Into my room, bitch." I retort, not really even caring anymore.

She can scream at me all she wants. I don't give a flying shit. "You fucking disgrace! I came home to tell you I'm not coming back until January!" She yelled behind me.

January?

It's only September.
*
"Hi, this is Andrew Besitos. You've reached my voice mail, I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

I groaned. Why am I even doing this?

"Hey dad, when are you coming home?" I asked, my voice as fake as ever.

I hung up, not able to put up my act for any longer. I'm doing this for Addison. Nobody else, only Addison. I throw my phone at the wall, angry and frustrated. My breathing was ragged, and I looked around in my dark room.

Clothes were scattered on the ground, my bean bag upside down, drawing utensils surrounding my sketchbook, taking up more than a third of my room.

I closed my eyes, trying not to freak. I've been living like this for too long.

In the dark, living painfully. Scared of things, and not trusting.

*