The Fear of Falling Apart

16

Tbh I feel like this story is dragging on.

Song above is 'Pacify Her' by Melanie Martinez

*
Arielle's POV
Cerena decided to leave, since Addison was back.

So now I was helping her pack up. I tied up my hair, skipping to her room.

I slowed to a walk when I heard that she was talking to someone on the phone. I turned around, and started walking away when I heard my name. My brows furrowed together. What the hell?

"Yes, I'm leaving Arielle's house now." Cerena spoke quietly. Just her boyfriend right? So why so quiet?

There was a pause, making my blood run cold. Does she know I'm listening onto her conversation? S-

"Professor, yes-"-she giggled, much to my discomfort-"I have the reports on her. Okay, okay, I have to go." What the fuck, reports? On her?

On me?

I hear her let out a sigh, as something hits her bed. Assuming it was her phone, I walk into her room, folding my arms.

"What the hell was that Cerena? Reports? And were you fucking giggling into the phone? What about Jackson?"

Her red brows knitted together, as her petite face paled. I shook my head, anger rising inside of me.

"I should be the one angry, were you eavesdropping?" She drags the word out, making my skin crawl.

I gave her a look, my eye twitching. "What? You're mad because of that? You're taking reports on me! Do I look like a science experiment to you?" I hissed, clenching my jaw.

I can't believe her. What about all those times we hung out together? What happened to us eating cereal together on Fridays in our PJ's, while watching TV?

Was it all a lie?

I hadn't realized it until Cerena pointed it out, but I had moved closer to her, with my fists curled.

"Arielle, don't hit me, I can explain." Her eyes were trained on my hands, her hands out in front of her face. My eyes flew down to my hands, which were clenched together. Anxiety washed over me, making my body temperature drop drastically.

At least it felt like it.

I was surprised, and ashamed. Is this what its all about? Fighting people when I don't like the way things are looking? When something happens to me that screws me over?

I back away from her, leaving the room. As much as I wanted to figure out what was going on, I can't control myself. If I stayed in there with her, I would've hit her.

I would've hurt her.

Even though she used me, I can't hurt her.

It doesn't matter who it is, if I have the intent of hurting someone without noticing, something is wrong.

*

I stayed on my bed as the pounding on the door got louder. I curled up even more, closing my eyes.

"Arielle I know you're fucking in there! Open the door!" Nick yelled, making me want to cry. What if I start to want to hurt him too?

"Dammit, Ari, please. Let me in. I can help." His soft voice promises, calming me down. I open my eyes, looking at the ceiling. I blink once. Twice. I let out a breath.

I get up, dragging myself to the door. I unlock it, and open it. Nick takes me into his strong arms, holding me tight. My eyes started to blur, and he strokes my hair, whispering soft things into my ear.

My shoulders shake, and my stomach twists and turns. I close my eyes again, taking deep breaths, trying to calm down.

"Shh, its okay babe." He placed a kiss on top of my head.

I was overwhelmed with so many emotions, that I couldn't think straight. I pulled away from Nick, and pushed him out of the doorway, closing the door once again.

I locked the door, not feeling as sad, I just needed to sort my emotions out.

"God dammit baby, what the fuck." Nick laughs bitterly from behind the door.

I giggle. "Nick, I'm better. Trust me. I just need to sort things out. Now go away."

He sighs dramatically. "Jesus, rude much." I waited for him to walk away, before backing away from the door.

I walk over to my bed, laying down. I thought about Cerena, and what was going on. I honestly thought we were very close. When Nick wasn't exactly back in the picture yet, she was there for me.

She actually cooked dinners, and ate with me. Cerena was like a sister. It kind of stung, when she was talking about me like a science experiment.

And yet, that's all this was.

An experiment.

But what bothered me was, what kind of experiment was I?

*

damnn the cats out of the bag. lol, why do people say that?