Robin's Song

Letters of Acceptance

Fox

"What was that all about? You know, those friends of yours surrounding us like sharks?" I turn on Robin right as we get inside the mail room. The mailman at his desk looks up briefly but ignores us. Besides him, no one else is in the room so I can talk as openly as I want.

"They are not my friends," Robin hisses while leading us to the back of the room. We passed many shelves filled with letters. I grabbed my mail earlier so mine is empty. I know this so I continue to follow Robin to his letterbox. Robin continues his statement, "Those guys are just being jerks because I haven't spent much time with them recently, that's all. I'm sorry if they scared you." 

Scared me? I was more disgusted at their ridiculous behavior than being scared. I could have gotten myself out of that situation by myself, but that wouldn't have happened in the first place if I were alone.

"Let's just drop the subject," I say simply. Neither of us wants to argue or be mad at each other. It's hard not to do that when everything in your life is so hard. I would have never imagined I would have a time in my life when I was dealing with all kinds of conflicts that consumed my mind all day long. It's exhausting, I'm doing my best to distract from my problems that I can't solve, but nothing is working. There's a weight on my chest that won't release me from my pain. If I keep punching at this weight, maybe it will break, but it's only breaking me. I think that might be becoming visible.

Robin reaches his mailbox in the back of the room. One single letter sits on the ledge. My chest tightens as I know who it's from. I glance up at Robin to give him an encouraging expression to open it. This paper will be the thing that confirms whether or not our plan will work. However, Robin never meets my gaze and stares at the letter in his hands. Eventually, he carefully tears it open and unfolds the message.

His gaze flies across the paper. I can't stand not knowing what it says, but I stay quiet anyway, letting him read it for himself. I glance over to the discarded paper and see his father's signature on the paper. I was right, it was from him. I lean against the shelves and cross my arms. I watch Robin's face closely. His hair falls loosely as he cranes his neck to read the paper. His grip holds onto it tightly like someone might take it from him. His eyes continue to quickly read the words, taking it all in. Slowly, they lift upwards to me. I suck in a breath, anticipating what he's going to say.

"We're allowed to go. I'm going home. With you all. My father is okay with the idea, he says he's excited to meet my 'friends'". He puts the last word in sad quotation marks. I know he had to lie to his father. 

The plan was that we're people pretended to be Robin's friends just so his father could get close and kidnap us. It's a gruesome idea, but now it's confirmed that we're putting it into action. My throat goes dry with the realization. I'm going to be staying in the home of a killer. I have imagined Robin's father to be a villain, and now I will stay in the same house as him.

"That's great," I softly smile at Robin. He can see right through me. I'm having some second thoughts on this. I could be leading some of my good friends and sisters into something that will get us all hurt. Robin puts the letter in his mailbox. He then slowly turns towards me and grabs my hands in his. My blank expression stares at my hands in his.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Robin whispers. I force myself to look him in the eyes. I want to help him. He will know that I want to help him and that I'll separate him from his evil father. Robin's deep brown eyes are filled with concern. Behind those eyes, I can almost see a plead.

"Yes, I'm doing this. I'm just having some doubts, but everything will be okay," I reassure him, but I'm trying to calm myself. I'm strong and so are my friends. It's normal to have doubts, this is a big thing we're doing. Eden and I are already packed to leave tomorrow. There's no way we can back down now. I can't leave Robin to go home by himself.

"Everything will be okay, I promise you." Robin squeezes my hands softly before letting them go. He picks up his letter and we leave the mail room. Robin will protect us, I tell myself. He knows what he's doing. This is his home and his father he's bringing us into. Of course, he'll look after us.

"If you have any more doubts, that's okay, please know that, Fox. This is a hard thing we're doing and I'm very grateful you, Eden, and Arlo are with me. I'm glad that I have hope for a new life without the struggles my father gives me," Robin tells me as we walk down the halls to a destination we haven't decided yet. A lot of things aren't decided, but I do know that we are getting on a train tomorrow morning. We'll start with that and see where it leads us.

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Ayyy! Things are just getting started.