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chapter eleven; stagging queen
Amaya was falling. She'd figured that out days ago and convinced herself no one would be there to catch her when she eventually crashed. But then James proved her wrong.
She spent the whole week sleeping in his bed, basking in the way she could sleep in his arms and stay safe from the nightmares that plagued her. And even if most days she hardly saw him when he left for practice Amaya couldn't get him out of her head. He'd bought her books for Merlin's sake.
Each day he'd tell her how his day went, eyes shining in excitement and Amaya could listen to him talk for hours on end, even as he explained how he'd learned the technicality of wand holding and how something as simple as the way a wizard held a wand could make a difference in combat.
He also listened to her when she spoke, with a smile that barely left his face. And he'd volunteered to come to her to Hogwarts and get the diadem. As soon as they'd gotten inside the room, Amaya could feel the whispers of the Horcrux crawl between the piles of paraphernalia.
It was frigid, worse than a touch of death, repulsive in ways Amaya couldn't explain and she knew if she got closer she'd pass out. James had immediately told her to stay put and found the diadem himself—Amaya was sure of it because even from wherever he had been within the room, the moment the diadem was inside the metal box she'd felt an instant relief.
When they ran together through the corridors, Amaya couldn't help but think how far she'd fallen for the wizard. How she wished he'd be there to catch her so she wouldn't crash. How much she believed he was, just by the way he looked at her.
Then they kissed, and he made her feel things she'd never felt so intensely before just with his fingers. When James apologized and started pushing her away, Amaya's heart cracked for a moment before he said the words that hit her like a slap.
"Yes, well, they don't pretend nothing happened the next morning."
It was true. She was hurting him and she didn't even realize it. How selfish was she? It wasn't fair to him for her to do that, to not face her feelings when they both knew they were there. So she told him so, finally being honest with him, with herself.
"I don't need the whole world, I just need you."
And now she was staring up at him, biting the inside of her cheek as she waited for him to say something, anything.
James took a couple of seconds to process what she said, the air crackled around them and then it was like something in him snapped, all the restraint from before gone. His hand curled around her neck and he pulled her closer, crashing his lips to hers, his other hand on her lower back.
