The Alpha's Addiction [BXB]

Chapter 26: Little Wolf

You all have been waiting for this. Enjoy~

That night, I dream of Des.

How we'd sneak treats from the dining hall then go up to the roof at night to lay on our backs and watch the stars. How I'd cried in his arms and he comforted me after I was kicked from my family home. The world had seemed so small back then. It was me and him against our oppressive pack.

Our first kiss had been awkward but exciting, stolen behind the old shack in the woods where we often hid from the other kids. He told me he loved me just a week after, promising that we'd mate when we were older, even if we weren't fated. I'd thought it so romantic, then. I believed whatever he told me. Des was my everything.

And then he was gone. I was left alone and vulnerable, giving Zacan the opportunity to impregnate me not long after Des's death. It was the most painful time of my life.

When I wake up with tears streaming down my face, a deep pit in my stomach, I recognize that I'm not over that pain in the slightest. But what if Cyrus expects me to behave like I'm not? What if he thinks that now that we've kissed, I'm offering up my heart to him?

Because I can't do that. I can't give my all to someone when the future isn't guaranteed. Cyrus could die. He could leave me. He could find out the truth of my past and be disgusted that he was ever attracted to impure omega like me. He could decide that he doesn't want all my baggage, much less having to care for another alpha's child.

There is so much that could go wrong, and I have to my protect my heart. Because the loss of Des broke me. And if I let Cyrus any farther in, and the same thing happens, it won't only break me—it will destroy me. I know it will. And Oliver doesn't deserve a mother like that. I have to be strong for him, like I always have been. I cannot let my defenses fall now because of my silly feelings.

So after a full weekend of avoiding Cyrus, Monday rolls around, and I have no way to get out of training. Cyrus would come find me, anyway. I walk to the training field from the school, already dressed in my leathers to get this over with as quickly as I can. Fuck, I feel so nervous. One look at him and I know I'll be tempted to kiss him again.

The heat of our moment the other night has not left my mind, much less my body, where it teases my stomach with butterflies at the prospect of seeing my mate. My wolf is practically salivating, wagging his tail like the lust-starved mutt he is. I try to calm him down, but it's no use.

So when I approach Cyrus who's leaning against the weapons shed, I keep my eyes downcast. My palms are sweaty as hell and I wring them together, an anxious breath escaping my chest. How am I going to ignore the elephant in the room? Which is the fact that I threw myself at him a couple nights ago and we made out not once--but twice.

I can't say I regret it. But what I do regret is not thinking of the consequences. Like how I'm going to face him today, acting like nothing happened.

"We're going to be working with weapons today. It's your first time, so please take caution. The daggers are sharpened daily," he starts as soon as I'm near, and I look up in confusion.

He's just gonna... act like nothing happened? A part of me I'm reluctant to acknowledge wilts in disappointment, but then I remind myself that this is exactly what I want. I want to go on as usual, and to NOT be tempted to kiss those soft, full lips of his again or feel his huge hands grip at my waist, lifting me effortlessly and taking control--

Koa. Stop. It. Now!

*

It's fucking awkward. I mean, I don't know why I didn't foresee this, seeing as he had his tongue down my throat a few days ago, that being the last time we saw each other. Nothing's been addressed. Cyrus has tripped over his words and his own two feet more times than I can count, sneaking glances at me when he thinks I'm not looking. Moon Goddess, he's acting like a sulky pup. I hate that I find it so adorable.