Are You Profiling Me?

Chapter 10

*4 Weeks Later*

Dr. Gillespie's Office, Quantico, Virginia

"Good afternoon Agent Fanning. How are you feeling today?" The therapist asks as I sit down on her sofa. "I feel like I got shot. May I ask why I'm here?" I ask her bluntly. "As you know after you were shot an incident occurred in your hospital room." She tells me and I chuckle, shaking my head slightly. She looks at me genuinely confused. "I'm sorry, I'm a psychology major like you and I know what you're doing. You think you have to walk on eggshells around me, afraid that I'll break down if you say I shot someone." I tell her.

"Agent Hotchner informed me that the person you killed was Lacey Meyers, a childhood friend of yours." She tells me and my face falls. "I didn't kill her. I shot her. She came into the room dressed as a nurse with a mask covering her face. Then she tried to give me morphine, which I'm allergic too. I shoved her away from me and took the I.V out of my arm. When I tried to get away she got physical and tore the stitches from my surgery, so I hit her with the closest thing I could find." I say and she nods as she listens. "So what did you end up hitting her with?" She questions and I have to hold back my laughter, Spencer did when I told him as well. "A bedpan and she fell back so I tried to move away but since my stitches were destroyed I was bleeding badly, I fell and had to crawl to my bag and grab my gun. By the time I turned back around she was on the same side of the room as me. She came at me and I pulled the trigger. In that moment, I didn't see a childhood friend. I saw someone trying to kill me and who was probably going to go after my best friend once she finished me off." I explain.

Besides the one question a couple of minutes ago, Dr. Gillespie has remained silent. She thinks for a second, probably trying to find the correct words to say but all she asks is "What was going through your mind at that moment?"

"I just told you everything." I say in disbelief, what does this woman want to hear?

"You've told me everything except what was going through your mind that day." She says and dammit she's right. I swear therapists are the only people who can accurately profile a profiler. "I didn't really think, I acted on instinct to protect myself." I tell her truthfully. "I understand that but you shot someone Lauren and I need to know how you're coping with that." She says and I scoff. "The 'someone' you're talking about assisted in the murders of two women and not only attempted to end my life once but twice. Now once she's being charged with assisting in two counts of first degree murder and for one count of attempted murder. She made her decisions and now she gets spend to the rest of her life in solitary confinement thinking about those decisions. If the situation called for it, I would do it again if it saved someone's life." I tell her and she nods.

"Okay." She says simply and I stare at her confused. "Okay? That's it?" I ask her seriously. "Do you have nightmares from the attacks?" She asks me and I shake my head. "I haven't really been sleeping." I state.

"Lauren I want you to listen to me closely, okay?" She asks and I nod. "You experienced something traumatic. It's understandable that you would be having some issues like sleeping. Your team goes out and catches the evilest members of society, that is bound to have an effect on you. I would be more concerned if it didn't. In my professional opinion, you're okay to go back to work." She says scribbling something down on a notepad before ripping it off and handing it to me.

"What is this?" I ask her confused looking at the piece of paper. "It's your release to return to work." She tells me and I nod. "Thank you!" I say quickly leaving the room.

--

I get to the bullpen to see everybody sitting at their desks and Hotch's blinds drawn shut. Derek is the first one to notice me and smirks when he looks back at me. "Hey gorgeous, what'd the psych say?" He asks causing me to chuckle as I wave the piece of paper in the air. "Your girl is free to work again!" I say excitedly and he claps.

"I'm actually headed up to Hotch's office to give him my return notice." I tell him and hear Emily laugh, already knowing what she's thinking. "I bet that paper isn't the only thing you're going to give him." She states and Morgan laughs as well. "I'm going to head up there." I say and she groans. "It's not fun if you don't play along." She pleads as I walk up the stairs. I stop and turn back to her with a smirk on my face. "I know how much you like to play with me." I respond blowing her a kiss causing her to burst out in a fit of laughter. "Did it just get hotter in here?" Morgan asks fanning himself.

"Uh uh Morgan, if she ever agrees to that, it's me and her. Will already said JJ couldn't join" Emily tells him shooting me a wink. "Did I hear my name?" JJ asks walking in. "We're talking about the threesome." Emily clarifies and JJ smirks. "You should've suggested it when I wasn't in a committed relationship." She responds. "What Will doesn't know won't hurt him." I joke. "That's not cool. Now I know y'all are messing with me." Derek says standing up and heading towards the breakroom.

"How does it work with multiple girls?" Spencer asks and we all turn our heads toward him simultaneously in disbelief. "Did those words really just leave Dr. Spencer Reid's mouth?" I ask and he nods. None of us respond and I can tell JJ and Emily are stumbling over their words as well. "Just google it." I tell him continuing my walk up the stairs to Hotch's office.

I grab the doorknob and turn it as I open the door. Hotch is standing in front of his desk with his back turned to me. But I'm pretty sure those cute princess pink coffin shaped acrylics digging into his hair aren't his own, I guess neither are the legs wrapped around his waist. I feel a million things run through my mind but I bite my tongue, clearing my throat. Hotch pulls away turning around, allowing me to see the girl. When his eyes meet mine I see pure shock and regret written across his face.

He starts stuttering, something I've never seen Aaron Hotchner do. I compose myself before walking over to him and pushing the paper into his chest. "My return to work notice. I'm cleared to go back into the field, as of Monday." I say avoiding looking into his eyes. If I do I'll just break down. "I'm Beth." The girl says holding her hand out to me. I look down at it and back up at her. "Yeah, I'm not touching that." I state rolling my eyes and leaving the office, slamming the door behind me.

I rush down the stairs, only to be met with a pair of hands on my shoulders stopping me. "What's wrong?" Emily asks pushing my hair out of my face. "I'm fine." I lie pulling away from her grasp. "What happened in there?" She asks me and I try to protest but she pulls me over to her desk as JJ walks over. "Your face is all puffy and you look like you've seen a ghost." JJ tells me and I laugh sarcastically. "The only thing that happened in there, was Hotch with another girls legs wrapped around his waist." I say. "Beth?" I say. "I don't want to talk about it. I just want to drink." I tell them truthfully. "Your drinking buddy should be off work now. If you want to give him a call." JJ suggests.

"What about Henry's babysitter? She's been with him all day, I can't let her stay longer." I tell her and she shakes her head. "She's always asking for extra hours, she needs the money. She wouldn't let us increase her pay, so a couple extra hours will help her a lot. I do know how you and Will drink, when you drink. If y'all get drunk, call a cab, call me, call someone before the bartender has too again." She pleads and I laugh a little nodding. "I will." I tell her truthfully. I see Emily's face change to one of disgust as JJ rolls her eyes. "Bye girls." I hear and look over to see Beth walking to the glass doors. I feel a pair of eyes on me and turn to see Aaron at his office door looking over at me. "I should go, I'll call Will on my way to the apartment." I tell them standing up and heading for the door.