my sweetest love // bnd hyeokmyungz

12. "stop lying to yourself."

By the time Sungho and Donghyun arrived at Sanghyeok's house, their nerves were all bundled up in knots. Sungho was determined, but Donghyun was still scared. Sanghyeok's dad had yelled at them before, but it was more of the boys being a little too loud. Regardless of the situation, he was still rather scary.

Donghyun stood far to the back as Sungho pressed the doorbell, holding his hands before him in a polite manner. After a few quiet, tense moments, the door opened, revealing the nervous expression of who seemed to be Sanghyeok's mother. The two boys bowed politely, but she could hardly smile in return. "Sanghyeokie's friends."

"Good afternoon, Miss," Sungho greeted politely as he dipped his head again. "Is Sanghyeok home? I would like to speak with him."

"Sanghyeok's home, yes," she nodded, "but the kid has been holed up in his room for the past week. He told me to tell all his friends that he's fine and that he doesn't need to see you anymore. In fact, I think he's busy right now."

Sungho tilted his head. "Busy?"

The woman stepped to the side as she opened the door further. Various boxes were piled here and there, some open with stacks of home objects beside them or pushed to the side, ready to be transported out of the house. "We're getting ready to move, yet he has hardly done anything. His father scolded him about it, so he's probably going to finish up his room today."

Donghyun widened his eyes but remained silent. Sungho, however, was different. "What?! Sanghyeok's moving?!"

"I thought he would have told you by now," Mrs Lee told them with a frown. "I was wondering why none of his friends came to see him off - I guess he kept it a secret."

Donghyun finally spoke up, delivering a soft smile to the woman behind the door. "Could we, perhaps, visit him inside? We have something to tell him before he leaves."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind," she replied, standing to the side to allow the two boys in. "If that Jaehyun boy were here, it'd be a different situation, but it's just the two of you. I must return to packing - I'm sure you know the way to his room."

After the two boys took their shoes off, they bowed to her one last time before parting ways to head up to Sanghyeok's room. Sungho knocked on the door, slowly opening the door to reveal a quiet Sanghyeok. He had his back turned to them, reading the cover of a book before putting it in a box labelled 'trash'. "Why are you guys here?"

"To see you off," Donghyun replied, earning a wildly confused look from Sungho. Donghyun silently told him to trust him with his eyes. He walked over to Sanghyeok, kneeling beside him as he glanced into the box. "A lot of memories you're throwing away."

"My dad calls it trash, so might as well dispose of it before I leave - otherwise it'll just take up space," Sanghyeok replied, still not looking at the two. "I'll ask again - why are you guys here?"

"To ask you what's going on," Sungho said quickly. "You just vanished off the face of the earth! We were so worried about you! Jaehyun-"

"Don't talk about Jaehyun, please." Sanghyeok's voice shook with emotion. "P-please."

This time, Donghyuk was the one to press. "Sanghyeok, did you break up with him because you knew you were moving, or because your dad told you to?"

"Donghyun, stop-"

"Because that guy is beating himself up, sulking and crying in his room day after day because he's convinced that you never loved him to begin with." Sanghyeok remained silent while Sungho was surprised at how firm Donghyun was. "He's told himself that the only reason you two got together was because you pitied him. He's convinced that you hate him and that you never wanted to be with him - just as you've always told him."

"I could never hate Jaehyun."

"Well, you were right about him!" Donghyun suddenly exclaimed. Sanghyeok looked up at him, meeting Donghyun's teary eyes. "He's just an idiot in love and has never thought of the reason why he loved you! Jaehyun is absolutely smitten - yet you broke his heart. For what, huh?"

"Because my father-"

"It's always that damn guy!" Donghyun was oddly angry. "You have someone that loves you to this extent. He never questioned why he loved you, yet he questioned why you hate him. If you really loved him, you wouldn't have soullessly broken his heart."

"Donghyun, I tried, okay?! I tried loving him, but I can't put either of us in danger because of my damn father," Sanghyeok told him, finally breaking down in tears. "That man has said and done horrible things to me just because I had the courage to tell him that I'm fucking gay. He hates me and has put every single one of his insecurities on me in order to cope. I can't put Jaehyun through that-"

"Then leave," Sungho interjected, causing both of them to glance at him. "We're your friends, okay? I'm sure we can make something work out. Heck, I'm sure Jaehyun has suggested a solution, hasn't he?"

Sanghyeok was quiet as he looked down. "He wanted me to move in with him..."

"Then do that!" Sungho exclaimed. "Jaehyun doesn't want to let you go, but has given up for now. Please, just... talk to him. You can't just leave him in this state. Even at this moment, he is still absolutely in love with you."

"You'll always be our friend, Sanghyeok - whether you push us away or not," Donghyun continued, "but Jaehyun's different. He's an adult but his emotions have a lot of development to go through. That guy is awfully in love with you, but his heart is shattered right now."

"He'd appreciate the communication, trust me," Sungho smiled. "So please - unblock him and talk to him. Jaehyun misses you a lot. He needs to know that you still love him - please, Sanghyeok."

Sanghyeok glanced at his phone to the side on the floor, hesitantly reaching over to it. "I'll... I'll try."