𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐔𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐭 (Gemstones Series #1)

11: A New Bucketlist

I woke up with a pounding headache. I shouldn't have drunk too much last night. Hindi ko rin alam paano ako nakabalik dito sa aking kwarto. All I remember is that Topaz helped me yesterday, she saved me from possibly ending my life. 

Kahit na lasing ako, naalala ko ang mga hugot na binitawan ni Topaz. She told me that I have to embrace life to the fullest, that I have to find joy in the little moments. Oo nga naman, I have been living my life according to a certain plan not realizing than there's more to life than just academics or a career.

Huminga ako ng malalim at inayos ang aking pinagtulogan. As I pick up the torn pages of my notebook, a part of me got torn too. Maybe this is for the best, siguro nga plano ito ng tadhana para hindi lang ako puro aral.

Naalala ko nanaman na may dalawang taon nalang pala ako para mabuhay, and Topaz was the only person who knew about my condition. Natatakot kasi akong sabihin kila Tito Klyde at mas lalo kay Sapphire. Aminin ko man o hindi, alam kong malulungkot sila at posibleng magagalit kapag hindi ko sinabi.  Ayaw kong kaawaan ako ng kahit na sino kaya I'm just crossing my finger na sana hindi ipagkalat ni Topaz.

Bumalik sa aking isipan ang posibilidad na pag-enroll ko next school year para sa internship ko. Pero paano ako kung ganoon pa rin? Paano kung hindi pa rin ako issuehan ni Dr. Matsunagi ng medical certificate? Paano na? It was hopeless. The only thing to do was to start fresh and do something else.

Kumuha ako ng panibagong notebook at gumawa ulit ng bucketlist. This time, I wrote down things I want to experience and do bago ako mawala sa mundong ito. Masakit man isipin na mawawala ako sa maikling panahon, kailangan kong itatak din na makakasama ko naman si Mama. At iyon nalang ang magpapaligaya sa akin.

I got a yellow notebook from my shelf. Yellow for me symbolizes happiness. I scribbled on the first page the words 'Things I Want to Experience before My Last Sunset'. I wrote down random-crazy-weird things na hindi magkakasunod-sunod. All that matters is gagawin ko, at magpapakasaya habang ginagawa ito. Kahit na sinabi ni Topaz na alisin ko ang pagpa-plano, hindi ko kaya. It has been a habit that I enjoy kaya naman this time, I'll create a plan to leave this world with no regrets.

Tinignan ko ang mga nakalista dito at napangiti. I don't know how to do it or how I can achieve each one, I just know I have to do it before my days end.

Things I Want to Experience before My Last Sunset:

1. Experience swimming at a beach

2. Get a minimalist tattoo

3. Learn how to play a musical instrument, even if it's just one song

4. Go on a hiking trip and witness a beautiful sunrise or sunset from the mountaintop

5. Plant a tree and contribute to the environment

6. Attend a cultural festival and immerse myself in traditions different from my own

7. Create a scrapbook filled with memories and moments of happiness

8. Spend a day pampering myself at a spa and indulging in self-care

9. Color and style my hair that's out of the ordinary

10. Attend a live concert of a band or artist

11. Eat at a fastfood restaurant (Jolibee, Mcdo, etc.)