Chapter 13: All I Want for Christmas

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10 days. 10 days until Christmas. 10 days until we finally do it.

In 10 days, Steven and I are finally going to come out to the rest of our friends. It's making me nervous but I'm not scared. I've just been struggling to find the words to say. But as the day gets closer, I'm beginning to feel more and more like this is the right time. As long as I have Steven with me, I feel like I can do anything.

On the last day of school before break, I sat at my spot in music class, listening to Johanna's many stories about her and Tom. It puts a smile on my face to hear how happy my friends are with their lovers, and the more I hear, the more excited - and less worried - I am about telling them our secret.

Finally the bell rang for us to go home and I packed my bag to meet Cielo at the front. I wished some of my class friends a Merry Christmas but other than that I was quiet. I found Cielo in her normal spot, surprising her while she had her headphones in.

"Hey, Anthony," she smiled, her dimples like mine showing. (Author Confession: I kind of based Cielo's character on Ariana Grande. Not sure why though.) "How was your day?"

"Long. Steven and I are finally gonna do it."

"Duuuude, I don't wanna know that!" she shouted.

"What? Not that kinda do it, ya nasty!" Then I lowered my voice to a whisper. "We're finally gonna come out to our friends."

Her eyes grew big at my confession. "Really? When?"

"On Christmas when we all hang out. We've made up our minds. No more hiding, no more lying."

"That's great. I'm so proud of you guys, Anthony." Dad pulled up a minute later and we climbed in, making our way home to start Christmas break. I put in my headphones and stared out the window on the twenty minute ride home, repeating the same thing over and over: 10 more days, 10 more days...

~~~

"ANTHONY!" Cielo shouted, jumping on my bed. "Anthony, wake up! It's Christmas!" I sleepily pushed her off and rolled over to check my phone: 8:52, December 25. Next thing I knew, a red Santa hat was thrown on me and my covers were pulled back. "Now hurry up and come downstairs!"

When she was finally out of the room I fixed my bed and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, following her downstairs and smelling Dad's signature cinnamon cannolis in the oven. In our family, it's not Christmas until you can smell the cannolis. I curled up on the couch with my blanket and closed my eyes again, listening to the movie on the TV.

My phone buzzed a few minutes later when I received a text from Steven. "Merry Christmas, babe. Ready for tonight?"

I had almost forgotten about our plans for tonight. "As ready as I'll ever be. Tell the family I said Merry Christmas."

"Will do. See you tonight :)" I put my phone away and wrapped my blanket around me, heading over to the bar. On my way there I passed by the mantle with our stockings - Carlo, Anthony, and Cielo - and some of our old family pictures. I got a quick look at the one from my parents' first Christmas married, the one right before I was born, and a thought that I'd been trying to ignore crossed my mind.

This time last year she was still with us... but we knew she wouldn't be for long.

"Are you okay, Anthony?" Cielo asked, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I just shook my head and pointed at the picture. She caught on quickly.

"Hey, Dad?" I called out.

Dad came around the corner, flour covering his apron. "Yes, Anthony?"

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