PHIGHTING! Oneshots

🍋Medical Professional-MedHammer🔨💉

A/N:Cover art is not mine. Luther is Med, Tremor is Ban. If it looks familiar, its cuz it's an alternate universe version of Ch. 1 of Medical Attention. Chapter requested by literallymedkit

"A busy day. Just like yesterday. Just like the day before. Just like every day. As if it never ends. Not like I get sleep in this place anyway. Not since Subspace's little pests have been throwing rocks through my window. They just love to skitter near my feet like worker bees to their queen. But I...am no queen. Why would I ever even WANT to be a queen? That's just stupid. Then again, so are bees. Anyways. I guess a new phighter came in during the PHESTIVAL. Which I won. Thanks, intuition. I knew Valk would win. No girl could resist that little guy in a skirt. But anyways, what joy...I guess. Everyone got to meet him. But why would I ever? The guy's got a statue of himself. Everyone was just in their Halloween costumes and such. Who would focus on that thing? I've never seen the guy, but I guess he's one egotistical shit. Hopefully, I can handle the extremely rare case of Tremor Bullshit he has. And hopefully, it's not contagious."

Luther was finally able to rest. No worries, no last-minute clients. Just rest. And relaxation.

...until a swarm of trainee phighters came into his office. Luther tapped his foot, sighing. He just wanted to get all of this done with. Not-so popular to contrary belief, Luther hated being a medical professional. He wasn't even it by choice. But he just wanted to heal people so he didn't have to again. Plus, money. More than when he was an inventor at Blackrock. So he healed. Healed healed. Until another wave came in. Damn, was there some sort of phighting competition going on? Luther healed that wave, being completely tired afterward. He slumped in his office chair. So comfy. Comfier than that hospital bed right fucking next to him. He just wanted to take a nap. Why not. He wasn't gonna see anybody else. No. It's his job to heal. He didn't choose it by choice, but it was still unfortunately his job that was a bundle pack for being a medical "professional."

He wasn't getting paid enough for this shit. But he had to deal with it since he was so graciously accepted into Lost Temple since Blackrock is forbidden to even look in the direction of Lost Temple. Oh well. At least the scenery was nice. Maybe that's why Blackrock can't be here. But they still find their way in. Who wouldn't? The scene just from the window of Luther's office was enough to see it. There Weeping willow trees in the lovely forest, covered in autumn colors and beautiful-looking vines and flowers. Like a dream. Was he in heaven? Nope. The one person and the last person he didn't want to see come in. Surprisingly, not Tremor. He dragged his massive hammer along and scraped the floor of the main office and his office before slamming it down next to him. He was practically the Police of every faction and in between. Anyone to defy him was at the yield of him. Lovely. "Hello there, Luther...~," Tremor said snarkily as he leaned on the wall. He wasn't even short enough to

"What do you want, Babyhammer?"

"Papi, tread lightly. For anything you say or do can and will be used against you.~"

"Don't ever call me that again."

"Call you what?"

"Eugh...THAT word."

"Which one? I said about 19 words to you in total."

"...Papi. You know what I mean."

"Papi? Is that what you call the men you sleep with every other night."

"What men?!" Luther turned to him, growling at his bold words.

"Geez. You must've literally got your brains fu-"

"Why are you here? To bother me with your bullshit?"

"You get bolder and bolder. I need your healing. One of the little suckers out of a few I was pounding to a pulp(pause) was getting cocky. He got me right in the gut with a knife-"