Another Way To Love (LGBT)

XVIII

I could hardly sleep last night. My mind was running a mile a minute as I tried to think about what I was going to say to Cooper.

Expressing my feelings has never been my strong suit. Neither has understanding them.

But Cooper deserves the best. So whatever my best is, I need to triple it.

The second Cooper texted me I could come over, I was bolting out the door so fast I nearly knocked it off its hinges.

I was quickly getting overheated, probably because I decided it'd be smart to run in Cooper's sweater, but I didn't care. I couldn't imagine wearing anything else for this moment.

When I finally got to Cooper's house, I all but bashed my fist on the door over and over again as I struggled for air. Jesus, if I faint during this, I'll never live it down.

The door opened soon enough, and I nearly fell forward. I met Cooper's shocked expression. "Gary? What the- did you run here?"

"I- you- me—" I set a hand on my side as I wheezed. "Idiot. Feelings. Tough. Wow, seeing spots—"

Cooper was quick to steady me as I fell forward. "Jesus Christ, what happened to you!? There was no rush to get here..."

I took a few more moments to catch my breath before standing on my own again. "Sorry- phew." I swiped my forehead in sweat. "Um- okay- wow- listen- I need to tell you something—"

"Me too." Cooper cut me off, grinning widely. "Dad agreed to drop the college crap."

My jaw dropped. "Seriously!?"

"And as you can see, he's let me move back in." Cooper added excitedly.

"How did- what did—" I stammered.

He let out a laugh. "I don't know what you said to him, but dad said you really got to him." Cooper's laughter faded into a warm smile. "He still hates that I'm not going to college, but...he said he'll try to support whatever I do, or at least tolerate it."

"That's...That's great, Cooper." I said, still a bit dazed. "I'm so happy for you."

"Yeah, I'm pretty happy too." Cooper shoved his hands in his pockets, leaning against the doorframe. "So, were you gonna come in or?..."

Shit. Right. This is my cue.

I hastily followed Cooper inside and noticed nobody else seemed to be home. The living room was cleaned up quite a bit too. All the beer bottles and cans were gone. Probably cleaned up for Mr. Watson's visit.

"So what's up? You said you had something to tell me?" Cooper asked, getting my attention.

My palms suddenly felt clammy. "Um...right...so..."

I had thought about it all night, and on my way over here, and I still didn't know what to say.

"I love you, Cooper." That felt like a good place to start.

Cooper's whole body went rigid, eyes widening in an emotion I couldn't identify.

But it wasn't happiness, I knew that much.

After a moment, Cooper let out a nervous chuckle. "Uh, what are you saying, Gary? I mean, I love you too. We're best friends. Of course, we love each other."

"No," I huffed, hands balling into fists. "I'm in love with you, Cooper."

He still didn't look happy. I felt my heart sink into my stomach.

Cooper's eyebrows furrowed. "...Where is this coming from?"

It was a fair question. "I just- look, I was on a date with Nina, and I realized that...everything I thought I felt for her was bullshit. I mean, it wasn't bullshit, but it was misguided. I thought I was in love with her because she made me happy and she was brave, but then I realized I just...admired her? I admired how she would protect you and not let fear ever hold her back and..." I sighed heavily.