They meet again...
Megan has started her rapper journey and Beyonce has became a superstar alongside with Jay-z. Megan is cold hearted, no longer attaches herself with anyone, she feels empty. Beyonce is now married to Jay-z and they have a child to...
I watched as Blue nursed from me smiling. It's been rough trying to make music and be a mom but I'm managing. Jay helps as much as he can when he's not cheating.
I can't believe I let my career and him get in the way of being with Megan.
Although I would rather be with Megan I wouldn't trade Blue for the world.
She's my rainbow baby.
Megan has even started making rap music and she's coming up and I'm very proud of her. I miss her deeply and I wish I could have just a few minutes with her to tell her how much I love her and I apologize.
Although that didn't work the last time..
I watch her instagram on my burner account and she's really grown into her body and she looks happy but I want her to be happy with me..
I know Megan was going through things but things were just hard back then. I regret giving up on our relationship.
I regret even letting Jay get down on his knee and put a ring on my finger.
But I'm thankful that I have a beautiful babygirl.
"Yo Bey I'm heading to the studio!" I heard Shawn yell from outside the room. I rolled my eyes knowing that was a lie.
"Ok! Be safe!" I yelled back.
I heard the front door close and I huffed looking at Blue as she slept. She's the only thing keeping me going at this moment.
I closed my eyes seeing visions of me and Megan. God I miss her so much. I remember her touch, kisses, hugs, everything.
I just want god to bring us back together somehow.
I felt hot tears start falling down my face and I quickly wiped them. I got up carefully and sat Blue in her bassinet and kissed her cheek.
I walked out the room to my studio and sat down running my hand through my hair. I started playing back a song I wrote when I first found out Jay was cheating on me.
Ten times out of nine, I know you're lying But nine times outta ten, I know you're trying So I'm trying to be fair And you're trying to be there and to care And you're caught up in your permanent emotions All the loving I've been giving goes unnoticed It's just floating in the air, lookie there Are you aware you're my lifeline, are you tryna kill me If I wasn't me, would you still feel me? Like on my worst day? Or am I not thirsty, enough? I don't care about the lights or the beams Spend my life in the dark for the sake of you and me Only way to go is up, skin thick, too tough
I really need to finish this song for my album and plus I want everyone to know what this nigga Jay has been doing.
*
I finished changing Blues diaper and placed her on her baby pillow. I turned on the TV and played something random.
I then got on my phone and scrolled through instagram on my burner account. I came across a recent picture of Megan.
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