Chapter - FOURTEEN

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" Y/N "

Denial. That's what i have learned to capture within the small skull of my head. Denial. Always, every time about everything.

This is a tendency that i built since my childhood. A tendency of pushing every single thing away which makes me feel like iam fortunate person in this world .

Because iam not. Every time in my life, i started thinking that i was lucky and my life was going to be better, i was proved wrong. Every single time i thought everything is going on a right track and i will have the peace i want in my life, i was immediately put into the wrong track and run into the same circles of misfortune.

That's why i started doing the ' deny, no attachment, keep your expectations low' kind of actions.

Because every time i got attached to anything or anyone in my life , i was got backstabbed by those peoples so harshly. It happened both in case of friendship, or in case of the two guys whom i dated.

This is the main factor that pushed me to deny everything i ever wanted with him. Him, the wicked psychopath who has turned my whole world upside down. Him, the sinful doctor who has
corrupted my body and soul with the mixture of his sins. Him who is now my fiancee and always has been my Master.
Dr.Jeon freaking Jung Kook!

In the past, when i didn't know who Dr.Jeon was, the very first day when my stalker aka him had a stormy entry in my life, since that night, i kept pushing and pushing myself to accept that i didn't want him. I kept pushing my thoughts to make it imprint in my brain cells that everything that was happening with him, was happening due to a temporary sort of physical attraction and his forceful activities.

Then when i saw Dr.Jeon, built a crush on him, i also never tried to approach him until, until i got to know i was going to be engaged to him. Yes there were a lot of factors such as, that time i thought Dr.Jeon was a different person and as my stalker was dangerous, he would harm Dr.Jeon if i approached him by my own. But there was this reason too, where i thought if i got close to him, he must be taken away from my life. So i kept acting i wasn't that interested in him.

I did acting a lot. Both times. Both with  my stalker and fiancee. To my stalker, i said i didn't want him. To my fiancee, i said iam lucky to have him. But neither time, i admitted that i was so much into them that it was doing bad kind of torture inside my head.

Wait no, it's not them. It's him. It's him, always him.

Now as i know, the two men i wanted is actually one, now i just keep getting one single reminder. That is, i actually wanted him. I couldn't recognize him but still i was only ever attracted to him. Only him.

This information scares me to death now.

And i don't even want to get started the paragraph which title might be,

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