"When you're down, run off and join a circus." they say.
But this circus has secrets that violate
the strings of life-
✴︎✴︎✴︎
"We can dance until we die...
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✭I am brave, I am bruised I am who I'm meant to be, This is me✭
I take in what feels like a bottomless breath of air as I wait for my Que, one foot on the pedal and the other on the ground.
My hands each grip the handles as I keep the thought in mind that I can't sweat out the heavy makeup and paint on my face.
It has been nearly 6 full days of nonstop training and practicing the current choreography, how to ride a motorcycle, and perfecting my clown persona.
Sitting here behind the stage, I can't help but feel nerves creep up my back and send shudders down my spine. I can't help but wonder what would happen if I screwed up.
If I ruined the show.
Everyone here knows what to do. How to keep the crowd engaged. How to seem interesting. I don't know the first thing about any of this. Yet here I am waiting for that ball to drop and for Pearl to walk inside.
When it happens I nearly forget what I'm meant to be doing.
The enclosure gate falls open and I rev the engine of the bike. I drive up the elevation and into the cage ball. I hear Kai announce me as the name I gave him nearly a week ago on loudspeakers.
"And now, feast your eyes on the spectacular, Globe of Death where the one, the only, the extraordinary, Katana will swallow this sword," Pearl raises a rose-covered sword in the air.
"All the while Phantom and Ace circle her!" we both emerge from backstage as the crowd erupts in a fit of cheers.
We've rehearsed this stunt multiple times within the last few days but still, I'm afraid I might hurt her.
I ride on the side of the walls of the metal ball with Frankie right behind me. Pearl looks up, sending me a small, reassuring smile before she opens her mouth and sticks the long sword down her throat.
I still have no idea how it could be feasible but she's been doing this for years. She has had time to learn these things.
Kai speaks into a mic connected to his collar but I can't hear him over the noisy motors of both bikes. The ball is lifted into the air and Pearl gets onto her knees, the sword's handle touching her lips.
The suspenseful tune that blasts through large black speakers in each corner gets lower yet louder at the same time.
The ball is slowly lowered back onto the ground and the gate on the opposite side falls open, Frankie leaves first and I follow suit.
