Leaving Laurabelle Falls

Chapter 25

"What is your deepest fear?" Miss Elevere asked, her eyes scanning the classroom. "I'm looking for answers, here."

A few students put their hands up, and she paced around the room. Her eyes scanned those of us that were left, instead. I prayed she wouldn't call on me.

"Madeline?" She questioned. Maddie slunk down in her seat. "That wasn't a request, I'm telling you to share."

"Losing everyone who's close to me." Maddie said, her voice flat. Miss Elevere nodded.

"Most people's fears have to do with the intersection of how they treat others, and how they want to be treated. Some people fear violence against them, some people fear intense social rejection. Others fear losing their material things, which they see as a marker of social status."

"Couldn't you argue that one that fears loss actually fears losing the comforts they associate with what they have?" I asked. I didn't bother to raise my hand. "For example, Maddie might fear losing the people around her. But what she's really afraid of is not having someone to talk to, or losing her ability to go out and do things in a group setting."

"That's an interesting take on fear," She said, nodding. "It could be argued then, as well, that people who fear accidents or maiming are afraid of losing the life they had beforehand. Possibly, life itself."

"One of the most common fears is death." Jessica piped up, from the front row. "Death leaves a large question unanswered. Some people have faith, but even if you believe in heaven, you have no concrete proof of what it will look like."

"Very good observation." Miss Elevere said, nodding to Jessica.

I slipped my phone out of my pocket.

It had been too long since my fight with Madeline. The words felt stale. And I understood, now, that some of what I had been saying to her beforehand hadn't been making any sense. I had accidentally confused and frightened her. I needed to take some accountability for that.

It didn't matter if I had done it on accident. I still owed her an apology and an explanation. An explanation so she knew I didn't do it on purpose, and an apology to show that I still knew it was wrong.

She had no context for what had happened. She deserved to know how I felt.

I'm sorry. I messaged her. Her phone softly vibrated, and I watched as she began to slip it out of her sweatshirt pocket. I shouldn't have said what I said when we were watching TV. I didn't understand what you were going through.

Her fingers were rapid-fire on the keyboard as she shot me her reply. I over-reacted. I miss you. I started talking to the guidance counselor, and I think you might be right about the guilt thing. I think I went off on you because it was hard to see what you were going through up close.

It's not your fault. I reminded her. I think we should hang out again soon. Do you think bowling sounds good? My physical therapist says something like that would be good for me.

Yeah, that sounds great. Friday?

~~~

I stood in the waiting room. My laptop was tucked under my arm. There were other teenagers around me, the parents of kids being seen stacked up against the back wall, idly flipping through National Geographic magazines from 2014.

"Laura?" Sharon said, poking her head around the corner. A smile broke across her face as she saw me, and I gave her a short wave.

I began to make my way down the hallway, following her back to her office. We passed doors along the way that were both closed, and opened. I liked to peer into the open ones; I feel like you learn a lot about a person from the way they decorate an office space.

"I see you have your weapon of choice." She teased, gesturing to my laptop. She opened her door and held it ajar while I crossed the threshold, headed towards my favorite chair.

"Actually," I said, "My weapon of choice is a bow and arrow. But you'll find that out on page twenty-five."

"Oh?" Sharon said, shutting the door behind me. She wove through the room, sitting behind her desk. She scooted her chair in, and grabbed her pen and pencil. "If you want, you can set the laptop down on that side-table."

She gestured towards a table near the end of her desk. I maneuvered my way to it, and sat the laptop to the side. I grabbed the chair, (which was surprisingly light) and moved it around, so that both of us could see the screen. She moved her chair, and tilted her notes for better access.

"I'm really glad that you followed through on this." She said, nodding towards me. "Talking about traumatic topics is hard. Different people do it better through different mediums."

"Thank you." I said, tentatively. "But I do want to let you know... it's not going to be what you're expecting."

"I've seen it all at this point." She said.

"I really don't think you have." I reiterated. Suddenly, it felt like there was a lump in my throat and a weight on my chest as I fought to think of what to say. "The things you're about to see in this powerpoint. They're real... To me. But they didn't actually happen. Not in our world, anyways."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Do you... Believe you're from another world?"

"No!" I said, immediately. I could almost feel myself backpedaling. "No no no. Not anymore." The thought of grippy socks and a bedroom I had to share with a stranger horrifyingly flashed across my vision. "And I never would have, if it hadn't been for the accident. My brain got all screwy right after the coma, and maybe during it, I'm not entirely sure."

"What are you trying to tell me?" She asked.

"I... Lived another life, for a little while." I explained. Her eyebrows rose. "And I know that sounds crazy, but I don't think I have another way to explain it."

"Coma patients frequently report having delusions or hallucinations in the first few days, or even the first few weeks, after they wake up." She said, slowly. "I did research on what I might be facing before I agreed to take on your case."

"So you know about it." I said.

"I won't know anything until you tell me." She said, calmly. "But I hope you know that this is a judgment-free zone. I'm not going to think less of you for anything your brain came up with while it was in a catatonic state. And unless you are a danger to yourself or others, I'm not going to tell anyone."

I hadn't realized how much I needed to hear that. I felt shaky, overwhelmed. I breathed out, and the tension released from my muscles. I slouched a bit in my chair.

"Thank you." I said, simply.

"Now," She said, leaning forward. She squinted at the title page, tilting her head up so she could see with her glasses for a moment. "Why don't you tell me about... Laurabelle Falls?"