Mikey's ED

Feeling a Bit Weird

It's been almost two weeks since I've stopped eating.

Of course, I did eat a little bit every once in a while when I couldn't come up with an excuse for my brothers. Like, when April came down with surprise personalized pizzas for everyone. I couldn't turn that down! It would be rude, and completely out of character for me, so I forced myself to eat all of it.

So I didn't go a full two weeks without eating anything at all. Just, mostly... Usually I have a small snack or something every two days or so when I couldn't handle the discomfort my body gave me, yelling at me for some sort of food. I did end up caving quite often...

But lately, everything's been grossing me out. Every food, every crumb... It started making me think of my body and how much weight I still have to lose. And now I can't help but feel sick even at the thought of eating. Sometimes, when someone is eating strong-smelling food I have to leave the room just to keep myself from gagging. Luckily, no one has noticed my lack of appetite.

Right now, I am currently on three days straight without eating anything at all. Not even snacks! It's the most I've ever gone. And the best part about all of this, is it's so easy to hide it from my family since breakfast and lunch are normally eaten separately, though I usually still make the food. Everyone comes to eat when they please. Dinners are the only time where we sit down and eat as a family, a tradition we won't let go of, and I found the perfect way to get out of eating!

Talking.

I talk and talk, and I don't stop. Talking about anything I can. Everyone either gets annoyed and eats fast so they can leave, or listens and puts some input in what I have to say. Those nights are nice. Especially since they are still too distracted to notice that I haven't taken a single bite. And because I'm the one doing most of the talking, they all finish before me and leave separately. Allowing me to secretly put the food in the fridge with the rest of the leftovers.

But of course, that doesn't always work. On boring days when there's nothing new to talk about and no excuses to use, I am forced to eat. Though, a lot smaller portions than I used to. So I guess it's okay once in a while. Especially since I don't want to starve to death. How embarrassing would that be? A ninja, dying because they didn't eat? Extremely.

"Mikey, come on! Focus!" Leo yelled, grabbing my attention.

I looked up from the floor to be caught in everyone's annoyed stares. We are currently in the middle of training and I'm supposed to be playing the offense while everyone else is on defense. I must have gotten a little distracted...again.

"Oh, uh. Sorry, dudes. Heheh.." I apologized, rubbing the back of my neck. I looked back to the floor avoiding as much eye contact as possible.

"Are you okay? You've been getting distracted a lot more than usual. And that's saying something." Donnie asked, hands resting on his hips as he walked closer. I haven't been that distracted lately... have I? I mean, I've only been called upon maybe fifteen times in the last hour to refocus. That's not a lot..right? Who am I kidding, it's a lot.

I looked up and forced myself to make eye contact with Donnie and smiled.
"Yeah man, I'm good. I just uh, didn't get enough sleep last night. Feeling a little weird if I'm being honest."

Donnie hummed, putting his hand on my forehead for a few minutes before making another humming noise and putting the hand back on his hips.

"You do look a little paler than normal... I think we trained enough for today anyway. Let's end it here." Leo said, walking closer towards me. "Mikey, go get some water, and maybe a snack. Then rest for a little while so you're ready for patrol later."