Tough

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Amber Freeman has always been the tough one in the relationship, the one who protected Tara, the one helping Tara when she had panic or asthma attacks. She never let Tara see her vulnerable side or even know she had one. But one night, while sleeping over at her girlfriend's place, they were spooning.

Tara was peacefully sleeping when she heard whimpers and cries coming from behind her. She tried to ignore it, thinking it was in her head, when she suddenly heard screaming and gasped awake to see Amber screaming next to her. She gasped and pushed her hair back. Amber looked distressed in her sleep, and Tara's immediate reaction was to shake her awake.

"Amber, Amber, baby, wake up," When Amber heard Tara's voice, she immediately woke up and started gasping for air, clutching her chest. Squirming around, "Hey, hey, it's me. Amber, it's me."

"What?" Amber said as she tried to breathe, and Tara brushed her hair as she pulled Amber close to her. "I-I had a... Oh gosh."

"Hey, I get it. No need to explain."

Amber continued to gasp for air, her breathing coming in short, panicked bursts. Tara held her tightly, rubbing soothing circles on her back to calm her down. She had never seen Amber like this before, so vulnerable and scared. It was a stark contrast to the strong and protective image that Amber always projected.

As Amber's breathing gradually steadied, she buried her face in Tara's shoulder, unable to meet her gaze. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice shaky. "I didn't mean to wake you up like that. It's just... nightmares."

Tara's heart ached at the pain in Amber's voice. She knew that Amber had dealt with trauma in her past, but they had never discussed the details. Now, in this moment of vulnerability, Tara felt an overwhelming urge to be there for her, to help her heal. "You don't have to apologize," she murmured, her voice filled with compassion. "Want to tell me what happened?"

Amber didn't want to explain exactly what happened-it was so vivid and wrong. She was just peacefully sleeping, having a great dream, when suddenly it turned into something more. Amber was sitting in her room on her computer when her sexual assaulter from last year, Richie Kirsch, came into her room, and she just didn't want to speak or think about what happened after.

Tara knew Amber had been struggling with it since it happened. Though Amber seemed alright for the most part, Tara wouldn't have thought that she was experiencing nightmares.

"How long have these nightmares been happening?" Tara asked, as she grabbed Amber's hand and kissed her knuckles.

That always calmed her down.

Amber relaxed to her kisses and sighed. "5 months."

"Five months?!" Tara gasped, looking at Amber with shock. "Why haven't you told me?"

"I just didn't want you to worry," Amber shrugged her shoulders. Tara sighed.

"I always worry, Amber," Tara pouted before she kissed her forehead.

"Don't. I'm fine, Tara," Amber insisted, her voice filled with reassurance.

"Oh, come on, Amber--"

"I'm fine, Tara!" Amber snapped before laying back down and trying to fall asleep. Tara bit her lip as she sighed and just stayed quiet, leaving Amber alone before she went back to sleep herself.

---

At school Tara walked to see Amber looking quite tired as she rummaged through her locker. When Tara woke up she had found amber had eft without even telling her. Guess she needed some space and that's what tara gave her, she hadn't called or talked to her own girlfriend since that night but now she's at school and wanted to tak.

"Hey you okay?" Tara questioned, walking towards amber's locker.

"Fine." She definitely wasn't fine. She didn't even sound fine or look it.

"Amber we have to talk about this.."

"I don't want to talk," Amber said.

tara absolutely hated when Amber did this, whenever she felt sad or angry she'd bubble up push tara away, and not talk to anyone. Tara understood how amber was feeling, she did, and she understood she might want to be alone. But she did NOT want to be her punching bag.

Two years ago when Amber's father hit her for the first time she bubbled up away from Tara didn't want to talk to her for months until she finally did. Thanks for Tara being just as stubborn as her girlfriend.

Tara stood there, watching as Amber struggled with her locker, her heart heavy with concern. She knew pushing Amber to talk when she wasn't ready might only push her further away, but she couldn't stand the thought of leaving things unresolved.

"Amber, please," Tara pleaded softly, reaching out to gently touch her arm. "I hate seeing you like this. We don't have to talk about it right now if you don't want to, but please don't shut me out."

Amber's shoulders tensed under Tara's touch, but she didn't pull away. For a moment, there was silence between them, broken only by the distant chatter of other students in the hallway.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Amber let out a heavy sigh and closed her locker, turning to face Tara with a defeated expression. "I just... I don't know how to talk about it, Tara," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Can you please just.." Tara sighed before she just stopped talking and walked away from Amber. She wanted to be alone fine she could be alone.

As Tara walked away, a mix of frustration and sadness washed over her. She understood that Amber needed space, but it was difficult for her to accept being shut out. She couldn't help but worry about Amber's well-being and the toll that the nightmares were taking on her.

Days turned into weeks, and the distance between Tara and Amber grew. They became like ships passing in the hallways, exchanging only brief glances and forced smiles. Tara found herself feeling lost without the deep connection they once shared.

One afternoon, as Tara was sitting alone in the school courtyard, deep in thought, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Startled, she turned around to see Amber standing there, her eyes filled with regret and a hint of vulnerability.

"Tara, can we talk?" Amber asked softly, her voice laced with a mixture of hope and uncertainty.

Tara nodded, her heart swelling with a mix of relief and anticipation. They found a secluded bench under a shade tree, and as they sat down, Tara took a deep breath, ready to confront the unresolved issues between them.

"I'm sorry," Amber began, her voice wavering. "I know I've been shutting you out, and it's not fair to you. I've been struggling to find the words to explain what I've been going through, but I don't want to push you away. I need you, Tara."

Tara reached out and gently took Amber's hand, offering her the support and love she craved. "I'm here, Amber. I've always been here, and I always will be. We're in this together, and whatever you're going through, we'll face it together."

Amber's eyes filled with tears, and she leaned into Tara's embrace, feeling the weight of her vulnerability lifting, if only for a moment. They spent hours talking, sharing their fears, and slowly rebuilding the trust that had been shaken.

In the weeks that followed, Tara and Amber embarked on a journey of healing and growth. They sought therapy together, learning healthy ways to communicate and navigate the challenges they faced individually and as a couple. Amber opened up about her past trauma, and with each shared burden, their bond grew stronger.

The nightmares didn't disappear overnight, but Amber found solace in knowing that Tara was by her side, ready to hold her through the darkest nights. They developed nighttime rituals, such as cuddling, listening to calming music, and practicing deep breathing exercises together, creating a sense of safety and comfort.

As time passed, Amber's nightmares gradually became less frequent, and she found herself feeling stronger and more resilient. She even started to go to therapy which she guessed helped. She's just happy she has a girlfriend like Tara.

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