Attitude Adjustment

9 Hayden Is Sick

After brunch, I ask Dania about her schedule, reluctant to be at her house unless she's also there.

She's studying in her room. I have homework too, so we spend the evening just like old times.

On Monday, I ask Lisa, my manager, if there's a full-time opportunity available, because I'm considering putting college on 'hold' for 'personal' reasons.

She says no.

Not without an official bachelor's degree.

With my head down out of her office, I stop in my tracks when I see who is waiting at my desk.

Last week it was my mom's boyfriend. Today it's her.

I wish I didn't feel anything. I wish I was indifferent. But despite how little she cares, how unstable and unreliable she's been my entire life, I would still take a bullet for her.

As soon as she notices me, she cries.

The customers around her stiffen. My colleagues give me judgmental looks.

Of course. If my mom looked different, more put together, if she looked rich, they might have reacted differently. But she's poor. So they judge.

"Hi..." She smiles tearfully as I approach.

I gently point at the door. "Let's go outside."

Once we are away from others, I take a moment to observe her. She wants something. Maybe to convince me to give up my car, since Sergio failed.

"Why are you here, mom?"

"Why did you treat Sergio like that?"

I scowl. "What?"

"He told me that you threatened him. How could you do that? He was only looking out for me."

Her words sting. I remind myself she's not mentally healthy.

"I'm not giving my car. I need it."

"We crashed ours-"

"You're not helpless, mom. There are hundreds of ways. Take a bus. Quit drinking and save your money, then buy another used car. Get a second job. Get a third job. I work two jobs and I go to school. You barely work one job and you expect me to give my car to you?"

She squints with resentment. "What happened to you? You weren't like this when you were little."

"You mean, I was easier to manipulate? Sucks for you that I grew up then, huh? I'm so sorry."

"Aren't you ashamed? I'm your mother! How can you talk to me like that? I gave up my life to raise you!" She cries out, causing the security guard of the building to step closer.

Please, don't let my manage witness this.

"It's not my fault that you got pregnant," I say with a shaking voice. "I didn't ask to be born. So stop trying to guilt-trip me. It won't work anymore. If you don't want to get better, I can't force you. But I'm done ruining my life just so you can continue ruining yours."

"The only reason my life is ruined is because of you! You! You're the reason that I'm like this!" She yells, but I am no longer listening.

I turn around and walk back into the office, a cold shiver in every bone and nerve. All I wish is to take a minute in the bathroom to compose myself, before-

"Can I see you in my office?" Lisa waves me over, not bothering to look in my direction.

This should be great.

"I'm sorry, Lisa," I say, walking back into her office. "I know that was unprofessional-"

"This is a bank. You're not paid to air your dirty laundry in front of our customers, Hazel. You're paid to represent us. How many times do we have to go over this?"