Adam X Lute: Undying Love

Adam: Pov

I'm so fucking stupid I really am. I just got lute back to being normal and I went and ruined it again. I thought she was initiating something when she put her head on my shoulder but I guess not. God I feel so dumb right now why did I do that. She tried to explain but I left before she could. I couldn't stand to be in there any longer.

It's been four hours since it happened and I'm still questioning my actions. I wanna get drunk but I don't wanna go to a bar. I wanna sleep but I don't think I'll ever be able to after tonight. She was the only thing on my mind. I just sat at the foot of my bed looking at my mask. The reflection of which showed a broken loser piece of shit.

I sat there for what seemed like hours not moving until the sun came up. I was still in that booze scented robe so I needed to take a shower before training today. I turned the shower on not caring what temperature it was at. When I climbed in the tears came out. I couldn't help myself I felt broken and unworthy of love. 

After some time I finally stepped out and put a fresh new robe on. This was going to be a hard day. I don't know if I can face her today but I'm gonna have to at some point.

I made my way to the training center I usually walk with lute but obviously I didn't want to today. I made my way inside but it was empty I was confused on why until I realized that today was Saturday that's why no one was here. That was a relief I had more time to prepare myself. I decided that I would train by myself today to try and get my mind off it. I went and opened the doors to the main training room when I saw her. Lute was her training by herself it looks like she got the same idea as me.

She looked over at me and we just stared at each other for what felt like forever.

"I'm sorry I'll leave" I said as I went to turn around.

"Wait Adam don't go!" She yelled as she flew over to me.

I stopped and turned around and she grabbed my hands.

"What happened last night was not your fault I promise I just wasn't" she paused for a moment "I just never experienced that before and I was afraid to lose our relationship".

Those words left me in a daze. I was happy for the fact that she still wanted to talk to me. But hearing her say she didn't want to kiss me because she viewed me as just a friend burned me to the core. That's what she meant by that right? I don't even know.

"I don't want to lose our relationship either" I replied.

As I said that lute squeezed me and gave me the biggest hug ever. This girl is giving me such mixed messages. First she saying that she doesn't want to lose our friendship. Then she pulls shit like this man.

"You wanna train with me then?" She asks while holding her hand out.

"I have nothing better to do" I reply.

We train for like three hours until I finally had enough. I'm so tired I didn't get any sleep plus the training I'm so fucking beat.

"That's enough for me today tits" I tell lute.

"Yea same, you wanna go to our usual spot?" She asks.

"Sorry babe I'm whooped I need to get some sleep"

"Oh uh ok".

I look back at her and realize she looks upset by it. Great now I'm upset.

"Hey don't be sad I can take you to the gardens tomorrow to cheer you up how about that?" I ask.

"Sounds good" she says her expression changes to being happy.

"Good I'll see you then".

We wave each other goodbye and I don't know how to feel right now. On one hand we are back to being on the same page. But on the other it's clear she only views me as a friend. Right? That's what I got from that. Or was I just blowing it out of proportion. It doesn't matter I need to go home I don't know if I'll be able to sleep.