Adam X Lute: Undying Love

Lute: Pov

"He rejected me he flat out rejected me. But he did want to be friends again so it was all worth it right?" I say to myself in the mirror I single tear fell down my face. "Stop being such a bitch lute stop" I tell myself stopping myself from shedding anymore tears. "God you're so fucking stupid, why didn't you just say yes when he asked you originally". I pound my fist against the wall "stupid, stupid, stupid" a sound from my phone broke me from my thoughts. I walk over and check and it's was a message from Adam

"Hey dangertits you almost done? We need to get to training bitch"

"Yep I'll be out in a minute sir" I reply it was my first training back after he asked me to be his lieutenant. I was nervous I hadn't really kept up with any of the girls or the upcoming extermination since I left. I leave my apartment and head outside where Adam was waiting for her.

"Finally bitch" he said playfully

"Sorry sir" I glance up at him

"I'm just busting your balls, let's get going"

We walk down the promenade like nothing happened between us. He went on and talked about stuff I was half paying attention. I just couldn't stop thinking about how he pushed past what happened. I mean I still don't understand why he didn't accept me when I confessed to him.
Did he not love me anymore? Was I not enough?
I could feel another tear trinkle down my face. Luckily I had my mask on.

God I love him so much

But it was hard and it still is to show how much I do. But I guess if being his friend is the way to show it to him. Well damn it I will be the best friend ever!

I wish I could go back to that night just to get a chance to slap myself. I can't stop thinking how i threw it away just because of my insecurities.

"Oh cheer up babe everything is back to the way it was" he said grabbing my chin and making me look at him.

"Yeah, yeah back to normal right sir" I reply

"Well anyway you got a lot of paperwork to do when we get there" he said with a grin

"Great" I say with a sigh

He looks at me funny "I'm just fucking with you dude" he lets out a laugh

I let out a little giggle to make him happy.

I few minutes later we arrive at the training center and Adam heads towards his office

"See you at lunch bitch" he says closing the door

A few hours go by and it was nice to get back in action. I talked to some of the girls and they told me how Adam was after I left and fuck I feel bad. But hell it's time for lunch with Adam. I put my sword away and head over to his office.

I open the door and Adam is there with to brown bags.

"Hey cunt I made you lunch today" he said with a grin

"You made lunch, are you sure?" I replied with a chuckle

"Uh yeah, dickmaster is also the cookmaster"

"I highly doubt that sir" I take the bag from him and sit on the opposite side where my desk was. We sat and ate in silence for a few minutes.

"Sorry this is so weird" Adam said out of the blue

"It's fine sir, just give it a few days" I reply

"Yea I guess but lute" he reaches over and takes my hand and looks into my eyes.

"I know what your feeling and trust me I'm feeling it to but this is how it's gotta be,I need you" I stopped for a moment "but I can't have you and I can't have anyone"

"I understand sir it's fine I get what your feeling" I lied plainly

He pulls his hand away and a whimper to myself as he does. We continue eating until a thought popped in my head.

"Do you think you'll ever be in a relationship again sir?" I asked

"Probably not" he shrugged

Shot through the heart after he said that

"Excuse me I need to use the bathroom"

I all but ran out of his office holding tears back as I needed some air. God I regret it so much, I regret not telling him sooner, I regret not answering truthfully when he asked, I regret everything.

I  stared at myself through the bathroom mirror the reflection of which showed a pathetic loser idiot.

After my "emotional breakdown" as some would call I returned to Adam's office to finish up lunch will him. As I walk in a see Adam holding something I can't make out what it is.

"What is that sir" I asked my voice still a little raspy from crying

"nothing just a picture" he said putting in a drawer and closing it.

"Sorry to cut our time early dangertits but Sara called me in for a meeting so I gotta get going" he puts a hand on my shoulder and gives me a reassuring smile.

He walks out and I'm all alone in his office. As I go sit at my desk to finish my lunch curiosity gets the better of me. I go over and pull out the drawer and grabbed the picture that Adam was looking at.

The picture was of us on my first day as his lieutenant. A soft smile appeared on my face as I remembered. But that smile soon faded into tears. God why was this so hard?

I curl up into my knees and just look at the photo for what felt like hours. It was just us smiling. Why can't it be like that again