My little sunshine

Chapter 18: Doubts

Before we get to the big drama of this story, I just want to thank every one of you wonderful people for helping me reach 1,000 reads on my fanfiction. It still amazes me that so many people here on Wattpad love the story I created based on a what-if scenario that popped into my head one day. Also to Kanjigar68 here is the most complete picture of Bular that I could find on the internet outside of the full picture of Bular on the Trollhunters wiki  

* English text                                   * Trollish text 

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( time skip to around the same time as " A Claire And Present Danger")

As time went on, the whelps condition only got more and more worse by the day. Bular was doing his best to care for the whelp with what little he has on hand. Even with the goblins assisting Bular as best as they could the whelp still showed no signs of getting better. Despite the whelp's worsening condition he still found comfort and safety being in Bular's presense.

But this didn't bring any comfort to Bular as he was more than fully aware that it was only a matter of time before...

" No no don't be so foolish Bular now is not the time to be thinking like this. The whelp is still alive and breathing you still have time to figure something out" Bular thought to himself as he stared into the nest that he made for the whelp. 

One thing that his mother taught him before her passing was how to build a good nest and he was more than thankful to her for teaching him such a useful skill. While the whelp looked weak due to his deteriorating health he still smiled warmly in his sleep... for now. But between the whelp's poor health and frequent nightmares, Bular started to feel overwhelmed to the point where the changelings started to notice his apprehension during the last meeting.

Then Bular placed his hand into the whelp's nest absent mindedly. The second that Bular rested his hand on top of the whelp's chest he started to feel at ease. But these feelings were short lived as soon as he got a good look of the whelp's face. Bular didn't know how but the whelp still looked tired even though he was already sleeping at this very moment.  

Soon the voices that once plagued Bular's mind before he found the whelp came back. They haunted Bular's psyche as they shouted hateful words towards him.

" the whelp is suffering because of you" 

" why didn't you take the whelp to Kanjigar back when you first found him "

" the whelp would be better off back in Trollmarket instead of with you in this miserable place"

" do you honestly think that a miserable life of hiding from the humans in a dark, cold, and broken down abandoned building is what the whelp deserves " 

" YOU DON'T DESERVE TO KEEP THE WHELP"

These thoughts flooded Bular's mind just as they have before... except this time the pain in his heart hurts much worse than his feelings of self hatred have ever felt. Bular wanted to believe that everything would work out if he gave it time ...  but he didn't want to risk the whelp's well being  for one little chance of things getting better.

Bular picked the whelp and held him in his arms making sure that he didn't wake the whelp up and placed him on his chest for one last time... he knew that he had to make a choice even if it meant that he has to let go of the one thing in his life that gave him solace from his loneliness.  After much thought Bular decided to spend the rest of his time with the whelp while he still can today and ... take the whelp back to Trollmarket tomorrow.