Humbled ((Undertaker X Reader))

Act Fifteen: Fog

  A hug so warm I could have lost myself in it. His toothy smile, his soft hair, I never wanted to let go.
His lips began to move as he spoke, yet I could not hear. Was he teasing me again? No, it wasn't him this time, I couldn't hear.
With all my might I replayed the scene, but each time, the reaper sounded more distant.
The next moment, I was lying in my bed, holding a pillow tight against my body. My sheets were soaked in tears, but I couldn't recall falling asleep.

I tried to hug tighter, but I failed to recreate the feeling of The Undertaker's warm hold. It couldn't hug me back, I wanted his arms around me again.
I couldn't be sure what time it was, but I was sure it had been a while since I saw the sun.
I was only barely awake, but I could smell the food nearby. Damned servants, only opening the door when they knew I slept.
I refused to eat this meal either. I simply refused to do a thing in my prison.
Every so often I was blindfolded and chained so I could walk to the restroom, but naught time for a bath. I couldn't seem to care, I was too broken to bother.

Mother and Father wouldn't even see me. Were they too ashamed, did they know what they were doing was wrong?
I never asked for them, I wasn't sure what I'd say if they were in front of me.
My dreams seeped deeper into reality, or perhaps I was falling deeper into my dreams.
I always thought of him, and they felt so real, so vivid.
When I awoke, it was as though reality were nothing but a mere dreamland itself.
So I slept.
I slept even when I felt no exhaustion. I slept no matter the time, no matter if I was hungry.
I slept even when I could have been planning my escape, because I knew deep down... There was none. A locked door and a boarded window, it was hopeless. A week he said, and I couldn't even get up from my bed.
I buried my face in the pillow in my arms, allowing myself to fall into memories. It wasn't as soft as his dark robes, but I could pretend. No matter what Nicholas did, I wouldn't love him. My heart belonged to the reaper, nothing he could do would ever take that.
Did it eat him up inside, I wonder?

The cycle grew more intense each time I woke up. Dreams and memories were becoming twisted in my mind. No line between them, nothing to remind me of what was fabricated. Did it even matter?
I slept, then I woke.
I dreamed.
Or perhaps I dreamed, and then I slept.
Perhaps everything has been nothing but an elaborate dream made to torment me to the core.
Many days passed, or perhaps only one.
So, I continued.

I slept, until suddenly... I didn't.
Not a knock, they were much too cruel for that, but the door opened nevertheless. I thought it to be merely a dream at first until a hand was on my shoulder and a blindfold was once more around my eyes.
That was to be expected, they placed it before I could even open my eyes. I didn't need the bathroom, but I might as well go anyway. Who knew how long it would be before they decided to allow me to the powder room once more?

I walked with the servants, but I didn't speak. I had no reason to argue, I was ready to give in and give up. I couldn't see when I stepped into the room, but I could smell the heat of bath steam.
Could it be? I could finally clean?
I didn't protest the servants helping me out of my dress, and I allowed their assistance to step into the warm tub. When I settled down, another heated bucket was poured in to top it off. I gave an exhale of relief and let the servants get to work, although I could be sure none of them were doing it for me.
They all followed that pig now, which meant he wanted something from me if I was allowed a bath. I could only imagine...
Despite that, it was nice to feel waited on, even for a little bit.

The maid's fingers brushed through my hair with soap, and another finally got to tending to my now-dry injury on my hand. She ran a washcloth over the crushed blood softly before she suddenly stopped,
"A beautiful diamond ring," She made a comment through a cracked, tired voice as she tried to fake optimism, "You're so lucky you're getting married, my lady."
Had I not been blindfolded, I would have shot her a dirty glare for that. Nicholas would never give me a ring, that came from-

The ring... I almost forgot I had been wearing it. It felt so natural. What was that my mother said to me when I was little about being given a gem? I couldn't remember her exact words anymore, but I was promised to get a diamond from my fiance.
God, I couldn't go down that train of thought right now. My brain was too fried, I barely felt grounded in reality at the moment. The less I thought at all, the better, so I focused in on the work of the maids.
I merely had to sit in the water and they did all the work for me. I almost felt discouraged and insulted by it. Could I not clean myself?
I used to love being waited on hand and foot, but it felt hollow after handling myself for so long.
When they were done cleaning, the maids took my hands and helped me out of the bath once more. Their movements were slow as they dried and styled my hair, and I shivered from the nipping cold air, yet I was forced to stand bare until they were done.

Even when they were done though, no clothing was provided. What was happening? Why was it so quiet?
I heard a maid leave, then return a minute later, the sound of thick ruffling in her wake,
"Here, pardon the wait mistress, Lord Nicholas requested this one."
Ah, my hands were unbound. Did they expect me to remove the blindfold myself?
I pulled it off, but what was in front of me was nothing more than an insult.
The maid bowed her head as she presented the wedding dress I was required to wear. Not white, but ivory. Pathetic, I got under his skin, did I? Of all colors to choose from, ivory?
So be it then. Degrading, but evidently I got to him.
The maids helped me into the new dress, finally allowing me modesty. I didn't realize it had already been a week locked in that room. What was going to happen to me then? Was he going to get away with all his murders? Was I about to lose The Undertaker forever? What would happen to Soma and Alois? I wish I had gotten a chance to know them more... Speak to them in a more carefree setting.
"You're beautiful..." One of the maids murmured hesitantly, "But why... Why ivory?"
Another maid quickly hushed her,
"Not in front of Lady (Y/N). Don't you know what ivory means on a bride? He's insulting her."
Yeah, I already knew that. An ivory wedding dress, a bold move on his part. The ivory to insinuate I was impure or tainted, how childish.

I was allowed the opportunity to look in the mirror as the servants worked on my hair, but no matter how much they did, I looked atrocious. The dark circles under my eyes were stubbornly thick and clear. My skin was growing sick from dehydration as well, but no makeup would be hiding anything it seems.
It was fitting. A horrible bride for a horrible wedding to a horrible man.

"When..." I finally uttered my first word in a week. My voice cracked when I spoke, exhausted as well, "Is it today?"

"In a few hours." One of the maids nervously responded, "Guests are arriving, but it's a very small wedding. Lord Nicholas requested you be ready and look good beforehand. He said you should eat something because you haven't been eating the meals we give and...'
"I'm not hungry." To think I would eat anything and give him the satisfaction of thinking I was okay with this. I was broken, I lost my will to fight back, but I would still passively resist and struggle every step of the way if I could help it.
A few of the maids whispered amongst themselves but none thought to argue with the bride. Well, they could try if they wanted to, but I was too emotionally tired to care about a complaint like that.
My hair was completed swiftly, and they topped off my costume with a necklace clipped around my throat. I felt completely vile, not even having a word in about what I wore let alone who I married. I wasn't ready for this, I didn't even realize it had been a week already.

How was I meant to escape this? Did I really spend a week daydreaming when I could have been considering an escape?
I felt like a mindless zombie following the lead of the maids downstairs. The dress dressed out behind me, like a looming shadow, ever chasing the despaired bride.
When I reached the bottom, the thought of a realization suddenly clicked and I raised my head,
"No blindfold this time?"

Hesitantly, the leading maid clasped her hands together as she tried to give an obviously fake smile,
"Well... That was the request of the Lord. He was worried about you running off if you entered the hallway able to see the windows. Today is the wedding though, so covering your eyes isn't very ideal in front of the guests."
Ah, of course. Makes perfect sense. My inner sarcasm was intact enough to mentally roll my eyes. Very well, it looked like my option was to play along or stay locked in a dark room.
I followed the women through the foyer into the dining room where the guests already sat. Nicholas' parents offered a smile my way but said nothing. Yet, my parents were nowhere to be seen. They wanted this so much, where did they go?
At the far end of the long stretch of the table sat Nicholas himself, arms neatly folded with a darkly fake smile. Disgusting. Didn't he know it was bad luck to see the wedding dress before the wedding?
"(Y/N), how nice to see you. Won't you sit down?"
The man politely waved me close, but I stubbornly stayed standing at the archway. The only guests were his parents, how irksome.

After a long moment of silence, the Lord's father cleared his throat,
"(Y/N), would you fancy to join us for breakfast? I would adore to hear how you've been, my dear."
Unlike their son, Nicholas had rather polite and kind parents... Too good for a... A murderer. Did they know?
I had to tell them, they had to know what their son had done, they've always been kind to me. I opened my mouth, ready to announce it, when the Lord suddenly stood up. The chair scraped against the floor with how swiftly he jerked up before clapping his hands,
"Oh yes, that's right. (Y/N) and I planned a private tea chat before the ceremony. Mother, Father, if you don't mind, of course?"
Despite his sickly sweet tone, the couple appeared a bit nervous before his mother finally spoke,
"Alone? It's quite improper for a man and woman to be together without supervision before marriage."
To that, her husband set a hand on her shoulder,
"Today is their wedding anyway. I think a cup of tea in the parlor together is no matter."

I caught them casting a glance to the ivory dress before finally nodding their permission. Damned fabric, I never did anything scandalous of the sort like that!
Nicholas led the way, but I only followed to get his promised answers. I didn't care to have any idle chatter with this... No, pig was too kind at this point. A demon.
The parlor door was shut behind me, casting the two of us into darkness.
The man made his way to my father's desk and sat upon his chair with a devilish smile,
"You should eat," He spoke first, "I don't care to marry an ill-suited woman."
"A shame," I spat back without hesitation, "I don't care to marry you at all."
I caught Nicholas clenching his fist, but restrained himself with an inhale and relaxed,
"Tell me about the mortician. It's no use fighting it, I know he's not human. A demon? A corpse? Do you carry his child?"

I almost wanted to gag at the invasiveness but I held my tongue,
"You're asking questions that aren't your business to know the answers to," As if I'd tell him anything. I'd protect The Undertaker even if he decided to kill me for it. If it were the case, it would just be... My turn. "You said you'd tell me everything."
The striking glare of my fiance wanted to rip apart my very soul. My answer only angered him as he dropped his smile, but he still contained his anger.
"I did say that, didn't I? Alright then, I'll tell you that your mother and father won't be attending our ceremony."
"Where are they?"
The tone in his voice with that expression, it felt... Off. Something was wrong.
The silence was drowning, only interrupted by the slow tapping of his fingers on the desk rhythmically.
"Nicholas," I pushed again after a moment and stepped forward, "Where are they?"
"Dead."
So bluntly, so shortly.
In a single moment, they were gone.
The mother that held me in her lap, the father that gave me everything I ever wanted as a young girl...
Yet the way they treated me the last couple of years, how was I...
What was I meant to feel?
Was I allowed to feel sorrow? Was it okay if I was sad?
If I felt relief, was that okay?
Seemingly noticing my twisted expression, the Lord sighed,
"They were getting in the way. Servants are easy to sway, but nobles would only go so far. Your mother was the cause of your growing attachment to the mortician, she had to go, I'm afraid. But your father... He would never have agreed to keep you locked away until the wedding. I had to eliminate the obstacles. But look at it this way, I own the manor now- We do. Will. We will... Soon."

I wanted to vomit, my head was spinning. He killed them... Dead!
He had to be stopped, Nicholas was starting to kill outside of his regular victims, how far would he go?
I couldn't muster any more words, I could barely stand on my own two feet.
No, I couldn't give in. I refused to let him see he got to me, Nicholas would have a powertrip over it if he found a way to dig into my heart.
It was difficult, perhaps the most difficult restraint I'd ever have. I hated what they put me through, but I never wanted them to die. Not like that, not by his hand. Still, I held myself.
Why did I? I could've easily gone off, ended it here and now, but deep down... I knew I couldn't. I didn't know the extent of his control over my manor and servants, I couldn't be sure who was watching. To act so bold, he was confident, but why?
If only I had-
Actually...

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I exhaled.
"I see." The words ripped from my lips with every ounce of buried rage I could have mustered, "Then I would like to... Request a guest of my own."
I couldn't believe I was acting nice to him! I hated it, I hated every moment. I didn't want to go along with it, I didn't want him to think I was okay with anything, if I had any other choice, I'd rip out those eyes that looked at me with such contempt!
It was so hard to plan and plot, waiting and waiting just for the moment to act.
It was a long shot of a plan, but it was this or laying down to die.
Admittedly, I still had very little hope and motivation, I wouldn't have fought back much if I was attacked here and now, especially after... What I just learned, but a small spark in me wanted to survive, as selfish as that truly felt.

The Lord huffed with a tease as he learned over the desk,
"What's got you acting so bold? We only need two witnesses to make the ceremony official. If you're thinking of inviting-"
"Not the mortician." I cut him off without batting an eye, "Another noble. The child Earl Phantomhive. He is well respected, but still merely a small child that can't do much."

I caught sight of the hesitation in his eyes before Nicholas soon relaxed,
"For what you've put me through, I shouldn't be considering any request. Luckily for you, I have business with him too, in case you'd forgotten. One small child, very well. I'll have an invite sent out."
The man exhaled like merely speaking to me was a drag on his entire day. Within my father's study chair, he spun around, turning his back to me.
What a bold move, for someone like Nicholas, of course. Was he looking down on me, or merely underestimating what I wanted to do to him?
I didn't notice my hands were trembling until I clenched them into a fist. With a sharp inhale, I tried to push away the thoughts plaguing me. The deep, dark desires I had in which left this ivory dress a morning scarlet.
"Very good then." I finally brought myself to muster out, "But I think there's more you should be saying. Dare not turn your back to me yet."
"Is there a point?" The lord muttered with irritation dripping from his voice, still turned away, "I have nothing to say to you. Come now, we both know you're waiting for an excuse to snap at me. It's our wedding day, enjoy it."
This damned-!
He knew I wanted answers, he promised them!
I took a step forward, but only enough to stomp a foot down and make myself known. Any closer and I would be sick,
"I know you killed those women, you're the murderer the city is looking for."

Then, there was silence.
A long, painful silence that closed the walls of the study around the two of us. I wanted to feel afraid but I could only feel broken inside. Perhaps it was the isolation for the week or the darkness of my situation. Either way, I could be thankful for it this time, letting me be so bold to call him out directly.
Finally after what felt like forever, Nicholas sighed,
"I know. I pieced that together some time ago. Doesn't matter, it doesn't change anything. After we wed, you'll have my child and I can be done with you."
"You mean kill me too."
Did he think I forgot? If his intentions were clear, he could say it and not be a coward about it.
I waited, and continued to wait, but his lack of response was telling enough.
Fine then, I wouldn't get my response, it would have to do. Nicholas didn't have to say it anyway, I already knew.

I would die within the year, once my usefulness runs out.