i was told
a few years back that
happiness cannot be
attained in road rage
or a flask and
no matter how many
times you bloody up
your knuckles
you will still feel
fury in the
pit of your stomach and
it will devour you until
you realize
that fury and anger
and rage are all
side effects of
living and we all feel
a bit angry sometimes
because we don't
get what we want
and how it's
supposed to
be done.
i was told
a few years back
that even the most
gentlest of sadness
can immerse our soul into
a pungent darkness
that tastes like black licorice
and fresh blood on the
tips of my fingernails
we are not going to live
forever and with that skyward
smile of yours i really
wish you wouldn't
be so
sad.
i was told
a few years back
that joy and happiness
are great and all but
can be greatly misunderstood
that if we can be happy with
others then
we can be happy with
ourselves
it is all a matter of the essence
does your heart skip beats
when you breathe happiness
like the oxygen is ecstasy
(or maybe it smells like
his cologne)
happiness is of
the essence.
i was told
a few years back
that love is eternal
and it's internal
an eroding masterpiece
from point a to point b
with a sweaty hand in your own
and even though their lips
are dry they rehydrate your
soul and even though
they wonder why you won't
you tell them late at night
you'll never let go
and that
love is
eternal.
i was told
a few years back
that life would kiss me
like i was the one and then it
would dump me like
all the other street whores
trying to get a piece of happiness
and love and maybe even anger
and rage and fury and that
if I kept trying to FEEL SOMETHING
feel anything
id eventually just loose
myself amongst the crowd
with all the other
emotionless and
soulless
beings.
a few years back
my mother sat me down
with a bottle of whiskey
and sorrow eyes and
she told me and told me
and told me that my eyes
were loosing color and my
skin was loosing pigment
and she asked me if
i was loosing feeling
internally and
i said
yes
so she told me what i was
missing and what i wasn't.
- FEELINGS AND POETRY
[in which alaska writes a poem because this is where her heart will always lie.]
yay or nay? *nervous smile*
