"i fucking hate poets, and their way of turning something so ugly into beauty. like, what if we're actually ugly? what if our bones snap like twigs and diamonds do not hide in our eyes, what if our eyes are just the color of shit brown? how is that poetic? what if our lips taste like toothpaste and we have a piece of lettuce in our teeth? what if we're short and fat and we have freckles on our face, what if we have braces and an actual crooked smile? what the hell then?
what if we drool in our sleep and when we wake up we've got mascara running down our face and we look like shit and we we feel like shit and we probably smell like shit- do poets forget about morning breath? jesus christ, if i tried to kiss someone in the morning they'd probably scream and throw me off the bed- like what about reality? what about when we burp and when we cry and we don't look beautiful? have you seen me cry? i look like a drowning puppy with ten thousand fucking chins and don't you dare call me beautiful because im very sure that's not the picture of beauty- it's the picture of a fucking meme.
what if our laugh sounds like mating whales? have you ever heard a mating whale? no? well it sounds like my laugh.
and what the fuck, where do poets get the idea that boyfriends are sweet and loyal and talk like john green? the last boyfriend i had used to tell me that i smelled like pomegranates then he'd laugh his ass off and shove me off the bed. and at night he snored his ass off and we weren't very romantic, he gave me a fucking package of tampons for Valentine's Day- but we loved each other and though it wasn't poetic, it was nice. then he fucked cindy ruper at a party and i kicked him to the curb. poets are dumb, thinking that people are deserving of second chances- sometimes they're not. sometimes when someone fucks up its time to rid yourself of their presence, second chances are for people who are so fucking afraid of being left and-
god, im rambling again. don't you dare smile at me like that, im serious! im tired of reading poems about skinny girls that are tumblr worthy and shit! like i can't even take a selfie without wanting to stab myself in the eyeballs. but goddamnit, i am poetry too. i am flawed and i am real and that's why i am poetry- so fuck it. everyone's poetry. the end.
where the fucks my hot pocket?"
- EVERYONE IS POETRY
[In which my best friend is also a poet.]
