Remember What We Had *Sequel to Remember the Rules*

Choices Without Consequences

Pan's POV (A/N: JUST PLAY THE DAMN SONG ON REPEAT AND WE CAN ALL HOLD HANDS AND CRY BECAUSE IT'S LIKE FELIX IS SINGING OK BYE)

She's gone.

That thought simply kept repeating itself in my head for days. I was completely closed off from the boys and stayed in my room. My Lily was gone. Not only gone, but she'd left. On her own. That wasn't supposed to be possible. It was supposed to be her and me for the rest of time. Even if we weren't together, she needed to be near me, as much as I needed to be near her.  

The weather on the island was out of control, as it was in tune with my emotions. Most days, it was just cloudy, but sometimes it was dangerously windy or rainy. I tried to keep it from hailing or snowing, but that was the best I could do. It seemed like my magic was cutting me off until I got my act together. I could transport and hold the storms at bay, but that was the limit. It was all I really felt like doing.

She's gone.

Sometimes, Felix would drop by the tree where I'd found him before, but he avoided it like the plague if I happened to be there, which was often. One group walked by Skull Rock near my room, though they didn't know that) and had apparently dubbed it "the thinking tree." An apt name, considering. All I thought about there was my own biggest failures: Rumple and Lily. Mostly Lily.

She's gone. And she's not coming back. I can't just shut down because of some stupid girl.

She's not stupid. How dare you?

I know she's not stupid, Pietro. It's a figure of speech. Now go away.

I mentally built a brick wall around my alter ego. I blamed him, in part, for the way I'd been acting; maybe walling off my more sensitive side would fix something. Maybe it would dull the pain in my heart.

She's gone, Pietro thought at me faintly. And you're too stubborn to just let it hurt.

Lily's POV

I knew why I had agreed to this. It was my idea, my choice, my everything. I couldn't deal with this new Pan, the one who kept making puppy eyes at me. I didn't want him, didn't want to be with him. At least that's what I kept telling myself. 

A piece of stray hair fell into my face and I brushed it away in annoyance. How Felix managed to live with this wreck on his head and not tie it back was beyond me. I realized pretty early on that Felix's job as the Lost Boys' lieutenant was a lot more work than he let on, especially when Pan was being a mopey asshole. It took some getting used to. Actually, a lot of things did. After all, I was a completely different gender now. 

I suppose I should explain. 

When Felix too me back to camp, I fell asleep, blah, blah, blah. After a while, I woke up in the tent and the entire world kind of crashed down on me when I saw Felix less than a foot away from me, fast asleep. I shared everything with Felix. He knew as much about me-- more, probably --as I did; I couldn't keep a secret from him, especially not one this big. I got up quietly, thinking that maybe a walk would clear my head. I hummed a sad song pensively, trying so sort through everything in my head: Pan, Felix, Pan, Rosalie, Pan, Pietro, Pan, Storybrooke, Pan, Emma, Pan. My once simple world was now more complicated than one of Rumplestiltskin's contracts. The question was: How could I fix it?

The more I thought about it, the more obvious it became. I needed to go away. Problem was, just the thought made me dry heave into the grass. Stupid true love magic.