Remember What We Had *Sequel to Remember the Rules*

Somewhere I Was Wanted

A/N: This is just a warning. Felix has had a really, REALLY fucked up life. So there are graphic depictions of torture and injuries (including SEVERE bleach burns), and a fair dose of homophobia in this chapter. If that bothers you, find the ~oOo~ symbol and read from there. I'll put a more PG-rated summary in the end A/N. If you're a homophobe, I'm dead serious, don't read my stories. Don't read them, don't vote on them, don't comment on them. I don't care about your opinion in the slightest and I WILL delete your comment and block you. As for the rest of you, enjoy. 

Felix's POV

Lily, you spent time in the Land Without Magic, right? Well, over there I think they have some legend about the great King Arthur and his Holy Quest and all his great deeds, right? And don't they make him out to be some poor orphan with no family or something? Yeah, I thought so. 

The thing is, he was an orphan. But he had siblings, so he wasn't exactly alone. Arthur was the middle child of the three of us. Well, the older of the two of us, we had a sister that died in infancy or got sold to a sorcerer or something. I'm not entirely sure what happened to her, but I've never really wondered either. She's better off dead or wherever she ended up. So yeah, Arthur is my older brother by two years. Not that he ever really acted like it. 

Camelot wasn't always a kingdom like this; it used to be this tiny village in the middle of nowhere. We didn't have an orphanage, or even enough orphans to warrant one. So we slept outside or in stables, and relied on charity for food. A little after I turned... ten? Eleven? Somewhere around there; we didn't really keep track of birthdays. Somewhere around that time, Arthur met Guinevere. She and her friend Lancelot were the only other orphans in the village. I liked them, but they were closer to Arthur's age so we weren't particularly close. Arthur, on the other hand, liked to pretend I didn't exist. 

No, no, sweetheart, that wasn't his fault. Don't make that face, just let me explain. See, I was the reason we became orphans. One of the villagers told us once that our father had to give us up because our mother had died a little after I was born and he couldn't afford a caretaker for two young children. If I hadn't been born, Arthur thought that he might still have a family. 

Is Arthur blond like the movie? I'm not sure what a movie is, but no. He has dark hair and eyes. Why don't I? Well, I... I used to. I'm, um... I'm not a natural blond. I'll get to that soon, okay? Just be patient and promise not to kill anyone when I do. Okay, fine. I can only really ask you to do your best. 

Anyway, yeah. Once I was old enough to fend for myself somewhat, I did. But it's not as if Arthur just left me for dead. He still gave me the blanket at night because he said I needed it more than he did, and he still split his food with me if I hadn't managed to get any that day. He just... Didn't interact with me much beyond making sure I stayed alive. 

Beyond that, the legends do get a lot right. Arthur was Merlin's Chosen One, he went on a quest for the Holy Grail and pulled Excalibur out of the stone, et cetera, et cetera. He married Guinevere and we became royalty basically overnight. It was weird, not having to scavenge for food or curl into a haystack at night to keep from freezing, but I liked it. Arthur would have been around eighteen or so, so I was about sixteen at the time.

Yeah, sweetheart, I know I look sixteen. The lostness came in pretty quickly after this. 

See, after he acquired Excalibur, Arthur became obsessed with some riddle that Merlin had left him. He drew even further away from me and even started to withdraw from Gwen and Lancelot. His company of knights wondered what had happened, but I didn't know and he had sworn Gwen and Lance to secrecy. 

There was no getting through to him, so we made the best of what we had. I started spending a lot of time with Gwen and Lance and one of the other knights, Kay. You met him down in the cave. Yes, I'm fully aware that he's cute. That was the problem. I was stupid enough to develop a crush on him.