If you know the reality of your life, can you continue living a fake one?

I umm feel

Returned to say haha the sex scenes are the best thing about the story right now, not to mention they helped my nerve problem, can do more stuff in scenes and my head thanks to them.

Everything them is good, the rest went to utter trash-ville.

As of right now or even today this story is discontinued. It failed big time, ruined the characters for me and caused a ton of unnecessary mental anguish, whether it'll ever continue, no idea, right now it's done. 

That I have unintentionally ruined my story going from the fake world anime stuff in part 5. I'll admit that whilst before I enjoyed the story greatly and the both of them appeared in many head stories, I barely enjoy or add them anymore. I feel kind of annoyed with myself and my obsession to like get chapters out quickly, because I feel this ruined everything and also my inability to move on from certain storyline's in my mind and try something else instead.

Personally right now I hate myself for doing this and not just taking the time to take it slow. I'm going to give myself a few days to see where I want this to go and maybe even better if I reset it, umm but my mind would need to allow that switch to happen too which at the moment it's not.

When it was a Black redemption story and they were the real deal I was happiest and whilst they can grow in power and become the hierarchy etc I think they should've stayed the real deal, because I am still fenced about the change I made and that is not a good thing.

Also corrupted Gaia just feels like corrupted Mother from like story 2 or 3, I know most things are just the same things written differently, but there's good different and than there's the ones that just feel uninspired and boring and like I've been there and done that and I'm bored with trying that again.

I need to switch them back to like the real deal, just not sure how to do that, even when writing certain scenes I forget that fact, so in reality that fact should just be revoked.

I've been disappointed before honestly but this is just next level, honestly what have I done ... ruined the way I feel about them completely, their no longer worthy of my head stories either clearly as they no longer appear there. The way I feel cannot be told in words, disappointed is too light a word. In fact honestly the best bits right now are them, them together and than like the mortal vampire stuff, beyond that I hate it, really truly fucking hate it.