chapter twenty-eight

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WILLOW

"What are they doing here?" Maya repeats and I'm praying to whatever is in the fucking sky that they don't see us.
Maya's been talking about them constantly since that night we went to their beach house and if she goes talk to them– my whole life will be over. Well, not actually. I'm a pisces, I am dramatic.

My body feels on fire even if I'm not staring at her because I feel her staring at me. I feel her eyes on me and I feel– "I don't know. Isn't her Willow's friend? Should we go say hi?"

"What? No!" my response is immediate and both my friends freeze, her brows furrowed in confusion as they stare at me. "I mean– no, they're probably busy or something. Don't bother them."

Maya chuckles, looking over my shoulder. She brushes her pink hair away from her face and smiles. "Oh, they are busy. It seems it's someone's birthday. They're carrying balloons, a cake and they're all wearing princess tiaras. Even the guys." she laughs.

I fight the urge to look at their direction. I don't care. I shouldn't care. But, god, I miss her. My heart aches just to think that she's just a few feet away from me and just because I'm an idiot and kissed her, I can't go say hello. I probably can't even hug her without making it awkward. She was still limping when I saw her and I wonder how many hours was she at her dance class today? Is her teacher–or whatever– overtraining her?
I squeeze my hands together in my lap, brushing my thumbs over each other as I try to keep myself focus in another task. I'm mentally kicking myself again for kissing her– I'm such an idiot. Why the fuck did I do that? Did I just ruin the first beautiful thing I had in my life? Will she forgive me?
My legs jitter under the table as I fight to keep my breath in order, just like Summer taught me a few days ago. I have felt so weird around her, the way my body reacts around her it shouldn't be normal. It's not– not with just a friend. I don't feel what I feel for Summer with Maya or Josie. I don't feel it with anyone else– not even my past stupid boyfriends.
What is wrong with me?

I reach for another shot but Josie snatches it off my hand before I can reach it. "I need–"

"Water. Both of you need water, come on." she fills two glasses of water and gives one for each of us. "Drink it or I'm calling an Uber."

Uh, going home sounds so good right now. "I'm going to take some air."

"What? No, Willow." Josie grabs my wrist as soon as I stand up. The room feels suddenly dizzy and I fight to keep myself in two feet.

"I'm okay, Jo. I promise." I tell her, trying to smile. "I just want some air and then we'll go home, okay? Look, I'll take this with me." my hand reaches for the water bottle. "Let Maya have some more fun and when I'm back, we'll go."

"Promise?" she pouts. Goosebumps travel all over my body because I still feel her eyes on me.

"I promised. Right, May?" I turn around to find my best friend chugging down another shot and being pulled away by the same blond guy. "Maya." I glare.

She snaps her eyes at me. "What? Oh, yeah. Just fifteen minutes and we'll go."

My legs feel wobbly as I walk to the door leading to the small backyard where people are smoking, kissing and– dry-humping? Oh, wow. This door also leads to the parking lot and I make my way to one of the benches near the wall. It's maybe not the healthiest place on earth but I'm too drunk to care. I chug the cold liquid down my throat, hoping it makes the dizziness go away. The clock on my phone saying it's past midnight stares back at me, along with five new messages.

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