Daffodils and Hyacinths (3rd book in the Forgotten Truths series)

20. MUS

Mus
(The following night)

~Mus~

Hidden and I were keeping watch tonight. We both sat on a branch together. Just... watching. Not really talking.

The silence felt nice. Not the awkward silence, but the peaceful kind. Just me, and my thoughts. — Also Hidden next to me.

However, a feeling keeps pecking at me. Of my sister. Truly, I am not meant to be up right now. Hidden volunteered to keep watch after Hebe, and I just stayed with her, because I couldn't sleep either.

Memories of her, of Mus, continue to bombard me. I sigh, and try to push them away. Staying in the past is no good. I need to move on.

I find myself unable to do just that, though. I miss her. I don't understand why I go by her name; every time I hear it, it hurts.

'I need to honor her for who she was,' I remind myself.

Names are a way of showing a bit of us to the world. That is why I go by her name. Mus, with her large, carefree personality. She was always so fun to be around. I miss her. I carry her name around so I will still have her with me.

I look up at the stars. Hebe says someone once told her about the gods, and heaven. Heaven is a place people go to once they die, if they were good. I know Mus went there.

' "Musaraigne," I hear her say.

She gives a large, harsh cough. I rush up the windy stairs of our father's home, and enter her room. Mus stays in her bed, and she looks even more pale than before.

She gives me a smile, but even that looks too painful for her to do. She winces. All the brightness and joy, just taken out from her.

I clutch the book in my hands harder. I brought this to read it to her. Now I just feel distraught.

I ask, barely in a whisper; although I already know the answer, "Mus, is everything alright?"

"M... Musaraigne, sit with me," Mus manages to say. Even saying those four words took a toll on him.

Immediately, I drop the book, and run to her side. I don't know... I just have a feeling that there isn't time for that damn thing.

I have a feeling that this is the end.

She gives another raggedy cough. I touch her forehead. It's burning hot. Slowly, she takes my hands into hers.

Mus is my twin sister. We are basically each other; same looks and everything. Just different genders.

I'm really worried for her. Of course, no one else in this damn house cares. No one. Not one of them even made an effort to come see her.

My brothers were the first to forget her name. Then our sisters. Then the moms, and then our dad.

So, here I make a vow to never let her name be forgotten, and to never let her be forgotten. As the oldest son in this family, I have more authority and respect. I never agreed with how our society is set up and run, but here I will use my power for good.

If I choose to go by "Mus" then everyone will have to call me that. Then, Mus will never be lost.

Once she sees that I'm beside her, she lets out another sigh. This time, a smile that doesn't pain her crosses her face. Almost like seeing me gave her back some energy.

"Thank you," She murmurs. I don't really get what she means, but I nod. Then, her eyes grow weary.

The last three words she says to me are: "I love you."

Then she stills. Her eyes remain open, and her mouth is slightly agape.

I squeeze her hands, but I know it's too late. I know she's gone.

"I love you too, Mus," I mumble, and just watch her.

I just let the tears fall. '

"Mus, what's the matter?" I hear someone say, but they feel so far away.

A cold gust of wind brushes through me. I look up at the direction it came from. I see Hidden; her eyes full of worry.

I shake my head. I'm scared that if I talk, I will just send another wave of tears down.

She scoots closer to me, and hugs me. I hug her back. I really needed that.

"I just miss her." I say. I don't specify who "her" is, but Hidden doesn't make me.

I don't feel the pressure around her. She is the third person I feel completely comfortable with, after my sister and Hebe. The pressure of which my society gave the men, of never showing our tears. We just hug, like good friends.