All the lies between us (Mattheo Riddle x Draco Malfoy)

chapter thirteen

Today is the most exciting day in the whole Hogwarts history, I can hardly believe that we managed to do all this in two weeks, and I can hardly believe what a crazy day yesterday was. I couldn't stop thinking about Mattheo, how we'll walk down the stairs together today, how he'll dance with me and how much fun we'll have together. It may sound crazy but I think that yesterday's conversation brought us closer together. I somehow sense that it's different than with Draco, it feels different. Better. Oh God, do I sound like a thirteen-year-old girl who just fell in love with a guy? No, I don't, I'm just looking forward to tonight because I know it'll be perfect. Draco and I made sure of that. To be honest, when I think of him I get a little sad, but I have decided to forgive him. To move on from him. I have refused for too long, it has to stop. I have to leave him in my past, because that is him, my past. When I was lying in bed yesterday I couldn't sleep because I was trying to find some kind of solution or explanation for my problems. I thought of my grandma, even though I had repressed it for so long, I could finally think of her without crying. I smiled when I remembered her, how she was the only one who always stood by me, who could always make me happy. She would certainly be disappointed if she found out what my life had been like recently and that was my impulse to change it. I want to be happy, I want to enjoy my life, I want to always make the best of everyone like her and be everyones sunshine. It's over with running after someone, especially when I know we have no future anyway. It's over with listening to others and always worrying about what the others think. It's over with being someone that I'm not. Finally I was able to get up with a smile again, I knew she would be proud of me. All my friends were already awake, it's nothing new that I'm the one who sleeps the longest. Everyone around me greeted me happily, most of them had put on face masks and most of them were walking around with bathrobes and towels on their hair. All except Hermione. She was the only one who sat sadly on her bed and hadn't gotten ready. I looked at the clock. It's already ten o'clock and the ball starts at 7 p.m., so it's actually the time she should get ready. I walked over to her sleepily, when I sat down next to her I saw that she was crying. Without saying anything I hugged her, I guess she just needed that right now. I asked the others to leave, when they saw what was going on they did so without hesitation. I didn't like seeing Hermione like that, she had it hard too and yet she always does her best.

"I don't know if I'm going to the ball." she just said.

What? Why doesn't she want to go to the ball? But when I heard her answer I understood a little. She was scared. She didn't know if Pansy would really like her, she didn't know what others would say, she didn't know if she would even dare to do it. Pansy, in contrast to her, is a very confident person, she told me how she was looking forward to the ball and that she couldn't wait to go there with her. Hermione, however, doesn't even know if she dares to do it. I smiled and wiped away her tears, now it's my job to be the sunshine of others. As I said, I will do it.

"I promise you, today will be a very beautiful day for both of you. You will have fun and hey, life is too precious to worry about what others think. And after that you'll be happy."

She hugged me afterwards, we have never hugged so tightly. She thanked me, it felt good that she was happier now. She suddenly beamed so much, I know that Pansy is important to her and why should she be ashamed of it now? Right, why should you be ashamed of the person you love? That did bother me a little, but I quickly forgot about my worries. Now Hermione wanted to get ready, I also should take a shower because it's going to take a really long time until we're ready. We promised to do each other's hair and I'll be honest, I have no idea what that it will be. We also have to go to Hogsmeades to get something to eat because the Great Hall is closed today. Maybe we could ask Harry or someone if they can bring us something? But before I worry about it, I'm going to take a shower. After I was done, the others from our room still weren't there, but somehow it didn't bother me at all. It was good to be in an empty room for once, six girls in one room can be really exhausting. So exhausting that some even go to the common room at night, but that's not just the case with us. It's not as extreme for us as it is for the younger girls, there's always so much drama. When Hermione and I sat down, Ginny suddenly appeared in our doorway and said that something was waiting for us in the common room. Since I didn't want to go out there in my bathrobe, we both quickly changed. I put on Mattheo's sweater, luckily Hermione didn't ask where I got it from. When we were downstairs we saw two boxes, one had Hermione written on it and the other had my name on it. Since we didn't want to open it in front of everyone, we went back to our room, but we knew that someone had bought us food. But it was from two different people. I wanted to see who Hermione's box had come from, but when she read the note that was with the box she realized it was Pansy. She suddenly had such a big grin on her face, and when it was my turn to read my note my heart started racing. I was afraid that Draco was behind it, because I wouldn't want to accept anything from him now because I would find it a bit weird. But when I read the note, my heart warmed.