Looking For Love(ATEEZ)

3.9

The stars are incredibly bright. They twinkle on the dark blue sky. In my world, the sky was usually starless and devoid of light. That was the way my life was too.

But these people make it bearable. Make it better.

"Captain, can I really ask for something?"

"Anything."

I take a deep breath and prepare to face his rage. "Captain, just this once. Listen to me."

He nods. I say, "Leave piracy."

He is taken aback by that.

"I will make you my business partner."

He seems tense. His body stiffens up and his shoulders crouch.

"You will not lack money. All of you."

He looks at me uncertainly but smiles a while later.

I see the broken boy resurface.

"You know, Lily, my previous quartermaster, my teacher often took me to stargaze. He pointed at the polaris and everyday, he told me that my father merged into that star so that I could remember that I had a real family. He was a down to earth man, always told us to know where we came from. I always believed him. After he died, the stars, they just became a bitter memory of the painful past. They remind me how everyone left me. Then I found this family as my crew. I love these men. They are my brothers, father, mother, everything I can think of. But, I never liked stargazing. Today, it is so pleasant just because now, my family is complete. It has you in it..."

I bite my lower lip. These words are too heavy for someone as insignificant as me. If he really knew that I'm just a homeless soul that occupied her body, he'd be so disappointed...

"Lily, what you ask for is too much....."

"But since it's you asking, it shall be done."

I shoot up in glee and am about to hug him but I stop midway thinking about how he abhors physical touch. I am totally taken aback by what he does next.

It makes me stagger backward as I think deeply about it.

He pulls me in for a hug.

He does. I can feel his arms around me and his chin on my shoulder.

I break down into tears, cupping my mouth in shock.

"Y-you got over it?"

"Thanks Lily." He whispers back to me.

I can feel the smile in his voice.

I am scared of wetting his shirt but he does not let me go. He hugs me for a long time.

The he says in a vulnerable, fragile voice, "Don't leave me."

It breaks my heart to see him so. No one ever asked me this. To not leave. Everyone in my world has scorned me, despised me just because I was an orphan. He doesn't judge me for my background or appearance. He judges my care, my affection.

I will have to leave him someday. Now or later. But it will happen.

It has to.

I cup his face with my shaking hand as I weep, my voice shaking.

"Hongjoong, Jay is waiting for me at home."

I let out an ugly sniffle. To my surprise, he doesn't say anything else. He looks at the stars.

About a minute later, when I feel that he will deny my request, he speaks. "He won't have to wait anymore. Not anymore."

I sob harder. "I'll be with you always, my friend.... Remember me..."