She Stole The Bride

30

Amelia's POV

I stared nervously at my cellphone. I wanted to ring Syd's phone so badly, but I couldn't. I didn't want to push her away. What if she thought that I was too needy? What if she reconsidered wanting to be my friend? Her daughter certainly didn't like me. Nor her ex-husband. But I was hoping that she at least did.

She liked me. I could see it in her eyes. I knew she did.

It was two in the afternoon on a Saturday, and all of a sudden, I felt like taking a walk. Walking is good. It's good exercise. Fresh air... and it's not my fault that my walk took me towards Syd's shop.

I felt a tightness in my chest as the word 'stalker' repeated in my head. But nevertheless, I was standing across the street from Syd's, with no intention of walking away anytime soon.

There I was... Pathetic.

I was too scared to walk over there, but I also wouldn't be able to sleep that night if I didn't.

I lingered for what felt like hours, but was only a couple of minutes. Then I mustered up my courage and walked over. When I walked in, I could smell faint sandalwood. I wondered if that was her favorite scent.

"I was wondering when you'd come over," I heard Syd's voice and became startled. I searched for her eyes and found amusement within them.

"You, uh, saw me?"

"Yes, it's glass, Amelia." Syd pointed to the glass wall.

"Right." I cleared my throat. My cheeks were red. And I wanted to bury my face into a pillow and cry. "I'm sorry, I—"

"I'm closing for the day. Would you like to get a drink with me?" Syd asked.

I didn't know if she could see the glee in my eyes. "I'd like that."

Syd grabbed her things, turned off the lights and led me out the door. "Did you drive?"

"Walked," I replied.

"Are you okay driving with me?"

"Yeah, sure." I honestly didn't care where she was taking me. As long as I was with her.

"Come on, Amy. Let's go."

I felt swarms of butterflies fill my chest. "I'm coming."

As Syd drove, I tried to not stare at her the whole time. I took glances and turned away, hoping that she wouldn't notice. She focused on the road, seemingly trying to collect her thoughts.

"How's your new place?" Syd asked.

"It's nice. You should come over sometime, if you want to, I mean. You don't have to, I just—"

"I wouldn't mind. It's easier than having Miley see you at my house. She's still working on things."

"I understand," I said.

"I hope she gets over it soon."

I could sense sadness in Syd's voice. "Me too."

Syd said, "I always wondered what you would be like when we grew up. It's nice to see you rather than just think about you, Amy. I've wondered about you all the time. I always hoped that you were happy. Probably have kids... a husband..." Syd shook her head. "I seemed to have ruined that."

"You didn't ruin anything, Syd. I couldn't marry Daniel. It was my choice."

"I know. I just believe that I've made a mess of a lot of things."

Syd parked the car and turned to me. "But I can't feel guilty forever. I want you in my life. It's going to be the one thing I've done for myself in a long time."

I felt the urge to kiss her. She stared at me with glossy eyes snd smiled.

"I appreciate that," I said. I wanted to reach for her cheek and pull her in. But I didn't.

"I really need a drink," Syd shook her head and turned away. She got out of the car and I followed her. We walked into the pub and sat down at the bar. "What would you like?"

"Vodka cranberry," I said.

Syd called the bartender. He walked over as though he'd known her for years. "Haven't seen you in a while, honey." He looked at me. "And who's this?"

"Samuel, this is my friend, Amelia."

"What can I get for you ladies?" He winked at me, then looked back at Syd.

"She'll have a vodka cran and I'll have... I'll have the same. Tito's vodka, please?"

"Sure thing."

Samuel poured our drinks and wandered off to the other side of the bar. I stared at Sydney as she took a long pull from her straw. I twirled my straw, feeling nervous to be sitting next to her.

"Would you consider having dinner with me sometime?" I asked her.

Sydney looked at me, her straw against her lips, and she smiled. She placed her glass down. "Yes, I'd like that."

"Okay." I felt relief fill my chest. "So how have you been?"

"Just about the same. What about you?"

I shrugged. "I'm adjusting to my new apartment. Considering getting a cat, you know, the typical thing lesbians do."

Sydney's eyes widened and grabbed her drink. "I don't have a cat. I guess I'm not a lesbian."

"I'm just trying to be funny." I felt even more nervous.

"I know. I got caught off guard," Sydney mumbled.

"By?"

Sydney shook her head. "You being a lesbian."

"Oh." I lowered my gaze. "I don't know, honestly. I guess I can't be if I almost married a guy."

"Only you can figure it out. I got married and had a kid before I came out. But I always knew I liked women. I just didn't figure out that I only liked women. You could be bi, or you could be like me."

I said, "I guess I'll figure it all out eventually. It's not like I'm ready to date anyone anyway." I chewed on my bottom lip. I felt foolish. I knew what I wanted. But I couldn't tell her. Maybe I didn't fully grasp my sexuality, but I did know that I wanted to be with her.

"You will. Give it some time. My advice to you—avoid speed dating, online dating and picking up women at bars."

"I'm not planning on meeting anyone else, Syd."

My answer seemed to have caught her by surprise. "I think it will break my heart when you do. But you will, Amelia."

"Why do you think so?" I asked.

Sydney looked doubtfully at me. "We're friends. I can't give you anything more than that."

"I know that now is too soon. But—"

"I don't know if it'll ever happen, I can't promise you—"

"I'm not asking for a promise. I want a chance." I could hear my voice crack.

"I want to, trust me, I do. But it's too complicated. I don't want to ruin—"

"How can you ruin something that hasn't happened. What are you afraid of, Syd?"

I could see the tears in her eyes. "I can't be your first, Amelia. No one ever stays with the first woman they find. You need to explore. And I need to—"

I reached for her hand. "I've explored for twenty years, Syd. It all led me back to you. I know you're scared. But this is about us, and no one else."

Sydney wiped her eyes with a napkin. "I just need time. Please? Just be my friend. I need that more right now."

My heart dropped. "Okay."

Sydney pushed her glass away and ordered another one. I tried to not be too sad about the situation. I had to give her time.