Needy (Lashton) (AU)

Chapter 5

"Now Luke, how well are you conversing at school?" The middle aged women asked Luke concerned.

Luke shuffled in his chair, obviously uncomfortable with this entire thing. He had a love hate relationship with therapy, some days he was all for it and excited, and others he absolutely despised it. Today was a definite nope. He was not in the mood to be talking about his problems, he was fully aware he had them, and he didn't need a professional to tell him that.

He had been in therapy for around two years, he started when Jack got diagnosed with cancer. Luke's mom didn't want her son to go into therapy, because she had a feeling it wouldn't be much help for the stubborn boy. Luke's father, on the other hand, wanted him to go. He didn't like the idea of only having one son that wasn't messed up in some way. Or maybe he was being a small bit sympathetic, which Luke tried to believe, but no matter how hard to tried to convince himself that, he just couldn't.

Luke shrugged lightly, because he seriously didn't know how well he was in school. Some days he could talk so much his throat felt raw, and others he would remain silent, "It depends," He spoke while fiddling with his thumbs.

"On what?"

"If other people talk to me," He said quietly, "I don't like to speak if it's obvious I'm being annoying." Luke mumbled.

Which was one hundred percent true, he could always tell when others were annoyed with him, when that realization kicks in, he just slowly silences himself. It goes both ways though, he can tell when people are interested, or if they're going to be as talkative as him. When he sees that he wont be the only keeping the conversation together, or the only one interested in it, he will speak.

"Do your friends know what happened?" She asked Luke, making him tense up, he hated thinking or talking about what happened.

"Just one." He spoke simply, not feeling in the mood to explain.

The past was the past, of course it hurt, but that doesn't mean he needs to speak to every person he knows about it. Talking about it makes him feel ever worse about it. Every time he gets close to forgetting about it, someone has to bring it up again. How can he get over it if everyone around him keep reminding him of it. Luke didn't understand why everyone around him focused on what happened years ago, more than they focused on what is happening now.

Calum only knew because he walked in at a bad time, and because that, he felt obligated to tell him. Luke wasn't sure if he just wanted to attention then, or he actually wanted Calum to know, he was never certain on it. If Calum knew, Michael most likely did as well, Calum told Michael everything, even if Luke never wanted him to.

She bit her lip while lowering her head towards her notebook, where she jotted some notes down. Luke always felt uncomfortable when she did that, he felt like he was a project of some sort, like she was studying him and writing key elements to remember, it made him feel nauseous.

"Do you still get nightmares?" She said while raising her head quickly, making her glasses slide down the bridge of her nose, she made no effort to fix them.

"Mhm," He said while biting on his fingernail nervously.

"What are they about?"

"Don't wanna talk about it," He mumbled while wiping his face with the back of his hand, trying to stop tears from flooding from his eyes.

The therapist let out a sigh, her face had pity written all over it. Even though Luke absolutely hated to admit it, in a way he knew all of this will help one day. Just not today.

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Unknown number: Hey, it's Ashton

Luke was laying in bed trying to sleep when he got the text. A groan fell from his lips, he was almost asleep. He was in a state of being half asleep, so everything was groggy and confusing as he fished for his phone that was buried in his blankets.