Needy (Lashton) (AU)

Chapter 12

What the hell did I do now?

Luke thought, his stomach turned, anxiously. Luke thought that maybe Ashton found out that he has a crush on the older man and he is going to tell Luke to fuck off. Or maybe he is like every other guy out there and he is going to ask the blond if he can fuck him. Both thoughts are equally unsettling. Luke glanced over at Ashton, he looked concerned, maybe this conversation wouldn't be bad?

"Do you remember anything from when you were drunk?" Ashton asked me, making Luke's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

Did he remember anything?

It was a blur, a really big blur. Almost like when you're at that state of half awake and half sleep, and everything is foggy. That's how being drunk felt. Luke thought back and could remember sipping the bottle, and letting the beer- or maybe it was vodka- spill down his throat.

It definitely wasn't vodka, the younger one thought harder, remembering being ten years old and accidentally having a sip of his mothers drink thinking it was water. He knew it couldn't have been vodka because on that day he had cried for hours because of how vile the taste was.

Luke could remember walking down the street and feeling invincible. He remembered getting into Ashton's car. He can remember crying in his arms. But why was he crying?

"W- what happened?" Luke asked, tears clouding his vision. Luke despised the idea of not knowing what happened, and it worried him that something he will grow to regret could have taken place.

"You told me some things," Ashton spoke lightly, "Some personal things."

At this point, Luke's hands were shaking rapidly, something that always happened when he got nervous or antsy. With a sigh, Ashton reached over and comfortingly grasped Luke's hand. With his other one, he rubbed circles into the smaller boy's back, wanting nothing more than for Luke to be calm as he delivered the secret.

"Luke, I support you, and I know you wouldn't have told me this if it wasn't true, even if you were drunk." Ashton spoke.

"Just please tell me what I told you," At this point Luke was frustrated with the one who kept dragging out the news, Luke just wanted to know what the hell happened before he lost his mind.

Ashton drew in a breath before squeezing Luke's hand tightly, "You told me about your desires Luke." Ashton closed his eyes before continuing.

"You think I'm a joke don't you?" Luke spoke, thinking that Ashton didn't accept him, jumping quickly into defensive mode "I-I- This isn't some weird kink for you to get off to, I can't control this because of-" Luke's breathing increased as he thought back to the day, the day that ruined his entire life, "I- I cant sleep without seeing them there, I cant do anything on my own, I cant even grow up because they ruined me." At this point Luke was sobbing, he ached so badly, "I need you Ashton."

Ashton stood up, making Luke shrink back down to reality, feeling small again. Luke buried his head into Ashton's chest. The older one looked around the park, feeling grateful that there was no one there, "I'm here for you, please believe that," Ashton spoke while lifting Luke up into his arms, "I don't think you're a joke," The blond was gripping tightly onto the back of Ashton's shirt, as if it were the only thing keeping him alive, "I want to help you Luke."

The older man wasn't surprised about how defensive Luke got, it was obvious that this wasn't something the boy just flaunted around and told everyone. In a way, Ashton was glad he got drunk when he did, because he couldn't see Luke confessing that while sober. This should have scared Ashton, but it didn't. It all made sense to him, every little bit of it. The way Luke talked, the way he acted, the way he cried, Ashton connected the dots together and it all made so much sense. Luke wasn't giving any bullshit, it was all trust.