Never the loved one

Chapter - 3

Anvi's pov

(In this chapter anvi's age is - 17)

Finally my exams are over and now i can study the subjects i wanna take in college . i called my friend tommorow to ask her that . she told me to join classes for psychology so that i learn basics . So........yeah i'm going to coaching to register myself for that .

Time skip .
At coaching

I'm finally here , god , i'm already so tired this place is far from my house . but i need to come here daily . i was busy in these thoughts just then i saw a person looking at me .. He saw that i saw him looking at me and he walked towards me .

"Hey are you here to register yourself or yoou are teacher here ? " he asked .

"Naah , i'm here to register myself " i said .

"Ohh nice , btw my name is aditya " he said while smiling .

"Hii , my name is anvi " i said

"So do you think we should exchange our phone numbers ? Like we can help each other about this subject " aditya said giving me his phone  .

"Yeah sure , here's my number " i said typing my number in his phone .

"Bye " he said .

"Bye , have a good day " i said

After talking to him . i saw that teachers are coming . i saw a famale teacher and walked towards her .

"Hi mam , i'm anvi . i'm here to register myself of this cource . can u tell me where should i submit the fees ? " i said

"I think you should talk to rishab sir , he Takes care of registrations " she said while pointed to a desk which i guess is rishab sir's is  .

I said thankyou to her and walked towards that desk and completed my registration .

"So... I can go now ? " i asked if there's anything else i should worry about .

"Yeah you are free to go "  rishab sir said .

I sighed and went back home . i was so tired . so i made coffee for myself and after drinking it i wenf to my room . i know i said i'm tired but it doesn't mean i wouldn't write my diary ..

I opened my diary and was about to write but then i decided to read my old poems .. I turned back the pages and started reading 5 poetry . my eyes went blury when i started reading the 6th one .... It was called "what if " it goes like ...

" what if , what if my husband would be the same as my father ?
What if i will be the same as my mother ?
What if my husband do the same things my father did ?
What if i was too innocent to recognise his mistakes like my mother did ?
What if i loved my husband too much that i'll  ignore his all mistakes ?
What if i will be  too weak to stand for myself and how much courage it takes ?
What if i took stand for myself but everyone started blaming me ?
What if everything doesn't work out for me ?
What if i loved him too much to defend myself ?
What if i cared about him so much that i don't notice the bruises he gave me ?
What if i yelled , i called , i asked for help but no one comes to save me ?

I know this isn't that sad but when i read this it burns my eyes . i always cry whenever i read this . i always overthink and sleep late the day i read this  . i know this isn't 'that' bad but i don't know why it hurts ..

I don't know how , i know i'm tired  but i was sleepless tonight . because i know if i slept thinking about these things i would have nightmare ..

I closed my diary and tried to sleep but the voices in my head didn't let me calm down .

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Hey guys ..

Sorry for the grammar mistakes .

And yeah "what if " was my first poetry (i dont know you can call it poetry or not because it doesn't rhyme )....

Hope you like it .

Enjoy your day .