Dalaric

Five: "𝙁𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙮?"

"One ought to hold on to one's heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too."
Friedrich Nietzsche

Am I the only one tired of seeing an ALL-white cast in so many books ? We need the same diversity as it is irl !! Please authors ! - Aj's small rant.

—

Mama left.

She does this every month, leaves for about two weeks and comes home to act like her absence was a dream.

I don't know where she goes and that worries me. She once told me, obviously while drunk, that she would stay at a 'friend's' house. I worry and she doesn't care that I do.

She's been doing this for the past four years. Fourteen year old me couldn't comprehend why she would leave so suddenly and why I was spending my summers and winters with my distant aunt and her pet feline instead of the woman who raised me.

I try not to let it get to me as I wrap myself in a short towel with pink strawberries on it. We don't have much money- shocker, right- so I use most of the things from my childhood. I'm not sure about mama though. I worry that she might not be taking care of herself without any necessary supplies.

I sigh as I open up the suitcase which substitutes as my wardrobe. I have two suitcases; one for my undies and one for everyday clothes, which aren't much.

I pick out a Mayday Parade Band-tee and put it on quickly. I then change into plain black leggings. The outfit looks neat and I smile in the mirror.

My style is impeccable.

I pair the outfit with some old white sneakers and make my way into the kitchen. I had woken up at three in the morning as a result of how loudly mama had slammed the door shut when she had left he daughter alone in an unlocked apartment. I couldn't fall back asleep as worry overcame me. So I did the one thing I love doing when Im worried; clean.

Grabbing an apple, I sit on the counter and look at the house proudly. I managed to make it look like there was never any incident within the borders of our small apartment. Our one couch is cleaned thoroughly and i've discarded every single bottle of beer and white powder remains.

Other than the couch, we have a coffee table and a bookshelf which mama uses to store liquor. I store the cash we receive under my bed, which is the only piece of furniture, other than a mirror, in my room.

It's not much but i'm grateful. Some people don't have a place to call home. I don't either, but I have shelter and food. The toaster springs up and I squeal like I always do. So scary.

I eat the toast plain since my thighs have been getting bigger. I'll miss you, pb&j.

Soon, I reach the school after a blissful walk. I look to the right, the same area where I had met the homeless lady. She is shivering and rubbing her frail old hands on her arms. My brows furrow and I take off my white cardigan, since the mornings get really chilly, and walk over to her.

She opens her eyes when she notices me and a warm smile soon takes over her face as she takes the cardigan from me. Around her, all there is, is a jar and a cardboard box as well as a few bathroom supplies.

My eyes hurt from keeping in my tears and I wish her a goodbye after helping her put the cardigan on. She gives me another one of those amazing smiles and I can't help but smile back at her over my shoulder as i make my way over to the school gates.

I didn't need the cardigan anyways. I have a full sleeved thin shirt below my tee so it covers my wounds. I'm practically immune to the cold since I love it too much. I prefer winters to summers all the time, which is beneficial since summer doesn't last for very long here.