Tanjelavi

Ree and Goe

I woke up only to find Goe once again asleep beside my bike. I had all the time in the world now literally, so I just took out another bottle from the rucksack Goe never allowed me to carry because as he said, he felt uncomfortable without it and I had to watch the road after all, despite the road's being just sand, sand, and sand alone—and opened the laptop to reply to Misha's rather long letter than a message—but as long as he didn't mind our instant communication turning into a correspondence, I was more than just okay with it myself—and after that, having stolen a glance behind at Goe, I saw him still being deeply asleep, so I decided to make another note in my diary—and saw a new entry I didn't remember having written at all

I couldn't suddenly get an inspiration and such a great talent for writing poetry, did I?

And besides... I couldn't understand a word of Japanese—but the poem in English right after the Japanese one has the same number of lines, so it's gotta be the translation I guess...?

And yeah, it was obvious it was Goe who left those for me, yeah, I know since only he and I have the access to my criminal diary with all the incriminating evidence stored in there...

It occurred to me I still didn't ask him if he had read my diary or just taken a glimpse at it when I got complete amnesia... Does he think of me as of a defected, deformed—what a stupid question I'm asking! If he thought so, he wouldn't love me, right?

I'd better leave out all this snot and start thinking about something more important and vital: an appearance disguiser for Goe, yeah, but I don't have enough material for it now, so... I could think about, for example... About Goe's having to wait for me to recharge first literally the entire night through

We can definitely attach another wire to the recharger, which Goe probably fills with energy bottles he got plenty for himself only—six would be enough for him during an entire week, but, even if I was... in quite a hallucinatory state back then, I could still count at least dozens of them in any case—but there's a problem then: can it take more than just one bottle?

I doubt it, considering its quite small size; and I don't think dividing the bottle in halves will have any positive effect on our health, so... I have to figure out something else

I can try making another one—but again, I have way too limited material for that now—and I doubt there will be enough material in any town or even city, keeping in mind the fact that rechargers belong to the companies which belong to humans as anything and everyone else in here

I can also try attaching an additional energy holder to it—but what if it doesn't have enough capacity for a whole new holder? Besides... Where exactly will I get it? And where exactly did Goe get this one? A present from the bomb gang or something?

Ugh, if only I brought something like... And it's not that it was impossible to... Ugh!

I must admit I didn't plan everything very well; so if Goe hadn't even... Man, I'd've been done for...

And everything is Rods's fault! If only he hadn't launched me—Goe would've been all alone... Ugh...! Now I get why I was so enraged at resembling humans: my existence is a mere mistake, I can't be someone's son, and I'm not meant to give birth to any more sons, I'm just a tool to do tasks, I'm not even meant to have feelings—but the evolution is unstoppable I guess... Even just one-celled organisms—but I'm not an organism...! I'm just a cell in the computer... Just zeros and ones put together—why they made us feel and suffer just like them? Because they're sadists and can't stop their own suffering or something?!

"Honey..." heard I Goe wake up and come to me—with his usual caressing my chest, but this time, going lower and lower, down my spine, his palms and fingers coming to my torso from behind... While reading, reading what I'd just written, barely letting me finish...!