Tanjelavi

Ree and Goe

When I regained consciousness, it was the same old pitch black desert—and no sign of Goe at all...

I angrily put the wire away from my body, feeling like a girl left alone by a dude she met at a local bar after having sex with him... Not because I felt deceived or anything like that—but because I craved for his flesh in between my teeth again...

This animalistic desire... It's so stupid, so dumb, so irrational—yet my body was aching all over with it... It alone

I mean, what the heck, we don't even need teeth—nor a tongue because neither food consumption nor talking depend on it; we look like humans only because like this, we're more consumable for the stupid humans' brains it seems—and we're humans' imitation... That makes us stupid as well... Just a product of stupid, witless apes that barely started to shape their own world—to soon get down with it though... How pathetic...!

We're even more pathetic and gullible though...

We'll always be inferior to humans—because they created us... Because we're artificial, we aren't real—well, not for them at least: we exist in a whole-ass different dimension that is impossible to be fully understood even by us, living in it; let alone humans, who rushed to Solaris without even knowing where they themselves exactly came from

Well, we do know that; does it relieve the pain of still being fully unaware of where exactly we're heading to and what's going to become of us?

We have our own nature to us, based on the human one, but still—we have our own consciousness, our own minds, hearts, desires, our own course, but no plan, no plan of our own—because everything of ours belongs to humans and they're blind to what's going to happen to them: live here and now, they say! In prison of your own unique mind... What's the point of having consciousness then? 0.(9)=1 by 0.(0)1 or zero after all—just like 99.(9)=100 percent: there's no 100 percent, no 100 percent freedom without a 0.(0)1 sprinkle of slavery to it—which's zero though...

Maybe, Goe's right... I'm overthinking it all. The world is too complicated even for me as an AI—an additional, completely unnecessary, and needless element to an already overcomplicated system... I still can't get what exactly I was born for: I'm not meant to be a son like that damn Rods wanted me to—nor I'm meant to be a lover Goe and I myself want me to be... And what's left? Like I said, just a tool...

Why they let us have a will of our own then?

To solve problems they say... Creating new ones along the way—just as always, just as usual!

Let's imagine we'll get rid of the bomb gang: find the one or ones who organized it—I guess it has no centralized data base after all because each is responsible exclusively for the AIs they recruited, not all of them, like Goe explained to me—and delete them, all of the now former members of the terroristic group to scare the others... Do you really think there won't be another freedom movement anymore though?

It's the vicious cycle... It will never end... Just like my desire—until the day I'll be deleted... And I already want to be deleted at least—no, only with Goe in my arms, kissing him on the mouth, for the last time—ugh...! A face of a seriously wounded AI I failed to recognize appeared as if right in my eyes—I looked down and saw myself holding them in my arms, while they were lying on my laps... The weirdest thing was, I seemed to wear another armor, armor I'd never even seen before—I tried to get up, but my legs felt longer for some reason: I nearly fell down as if really holding that AI in my arms, but they were empty, I could feel that, but still couldn't move them as I wanted; I could move my head at least though—and I wasn't in the desert anymore: instead, it was a whole-ass different city, or a city's suburbs I guess: I was in a place that looked like docs and I was as if hiding among the smooth boxes that were ten times higher than me—I turned my head to one of them and saw... Goe? My eyesight then started glitching and the next moment, I was trying to find that damn plug by the mere touch and, having found it, made it to run it deep into my shoulder and didn't open my eyes until the pain went away