↱ECHO↲ ⇾seongjoong⇽

第十九

Hongjoong stares at his phone screen in disbelief.

How could he have possibly missed this?

What had been so important to him that he would've glanced over this notification and not even thought twice about it?

Three days ago:
Seongie's Birthday ❤️

He had never forgotten her birthday, not once since he met her, and yet it had completely slipped his mind just three days ago.

Of course, it's not like she was around to celebrate with, but Hongjoong had always taken the time on that day to talk to her, to fill her in on all the little things going on in his life as he lay in bed, hoping she could hear him wherever she was.

It was the only time he ventured to do so, because every other day, it was just a struggle to get up in the morning and not let his thoughts be consumed by the fact that she was no longer here.

No, on her birthday, he let himself be real, let himself face the fact that she would never come back.

Ever.

At this moment, he sinks down on his bed with Joy at his feet, who is staring up at Hongjoong curiously.

Hongjoong had come to get the dog for her daily walk while Seonghwa was in therapy, but now he sits unblinking, staring down at his phone and trying his hardest not to cry.

He feels so guilty.

What was he doing three days ago?

He closes his eyes and thinks, nearly losing himself when he remembers his date with Seonghwa, the intimacy they shared later that night, curled up on his patient's bed.

He remembers admitting to himself that he was attracted to his patient, that he may want something more with him and then he remembers Seonghwa's meltdown and Wooyoung's phone call.

Since then, things have leveled out, and though Seonghwa had been irate with him that night, they are now back to square one, though on more amiable terms.

It feels much like an actual working relationship.

Seonghwa is nice and accepts help, and Hongjoong is polite and offers it.

They don't talk about the date, the massage, the way the nurse's lips had Seonghwa writhing in ecstasy.

They don't talk about the anger built up inside each of them, the resentment of their pasts, or Hongjoong's new sexual curiosity.

But mostly, they don't talk about the near kiss, about the way Seonghwa's eyes had fluttered shut in expectation.

About how Hongjoong had wanted nothing more than to connect their lips together and feel something again.

They simply ignore it.

As much as it bothers him, right now it's for the best.

Seonghwa has been busy with Wooyoung, helping the younger man make arrangements for his mother.

Hongjoong can tell by the phone calls and the muttered statements that Seonghwa was indeed close with Wooyoung's mother, or had been during childhood.