↱ECHO↲ ⇾seongjoong⇽

第二十八

His father still hasn't shown up.

It's around nine in the morning and Seonghwa is trying to remain calm.

They've begun preparations for the surgery tomorrow and things are starting to blur together out of anxiety.

He's just been visited by the head surgeon who explained to him the risks of the procedure with the help of a translator.

The consent and release forms were signed and all that's left is waiting... because Seonghwa is waiting on his father.

He doesn't want to do this without him.

It's strange how twenty-five years of struggling to find a place in this world can all be reduced down to this moment, him lying in the hospital bed while Wooyoung and his brother just watch him from across the room, their faces grim despite their attempts to cheer him up.

Seonghwa has been scared of things before, as any human being naturally is, but there's something about this surgery that reminds him of that day, the day he woke up and his life was changed forever.

Would this be the same?

Would he wake up and find Wooyoung by his side telling him that it was a success, that he had his legs back and could one day walk again?

Or would he not even wake up at all?

Seonghwa wishes he was scared of the possibility of dying.

But the truth is, after you've wished for it to end once, you don't ever really regain that healthy respect of death.

What he's more afraid of is waking up the exact same, like some cruel sign from the universe that this is how it's meant to be, that Seonghwa is supposed to be this way.

That would be a hard pill to swallow.

But as much as he fears this outcome, he's absolutely terrified of something quite different.

What if the surgery is successful and he can walk again, but nothing else changes?

What if he still feels empty inside, chasing after his father's attention?

What if he still feels just as aimless and lost as before?

What if he still feels trapped in his apartment receiving only affection from his best friend, doomed to never know love?

What if he's still not good enough for someone like Hongjoong?

What if he's always the second choice, the replacement?

This surgery could give him back his mobility, but could it give him back his life?

"I'm sorry that I'm late."

Seonghwa snaps his head up from where he has been playing with the hospital band around his wrist to find his father standing in the doorway.

He came.

He actually came.

"Wooyoung-ah— Oh, Jun Ki... I didn't know you would be here," the man addresses the two others in the room before striding in and looking Seonghwa over.