marvel oneshots

bishop | lifeboat ( c )

summary - when you drift too far out to shore, kate is always there to throw you a lifeboat and bring you back in

word count - 0.8k

These days, it feels like there are oceans between you and everything you care about. You feel disconnected, isolated, like you're drifting further and farther out to sea with any and each insignificant blow of wind. You think that you've been set on this course for a while now, and maybe, you were even the one who built the boat that carries you out with the tide. You've never felt like you had a home in your family, in your friends, on the streets you grew up on. For your entire life, you had been nothing but a ghost caught in the breeze; the weightlessness of your existence subjecting you to riptides and invisibility.

When you met Kate, you were at your lowest. The days were short and the nights were even shorter, flashes of time and days coming and going without as much significance as remembering what you'd had for dinner, or if you'd eaten at all. She was like a life raft, like sunshine breaking across the shore after thunderstorms, but the rain can only leave for so long. Eventually, the sky always opens again, and when it rains, it pours.

You hadn't left your dorm in days, hardly even rolled out of bed more than a handful of times to pee or brush your hair. You're sure that it's now matted and all sorts of knotted into the hair tie you stole from Kate's bedside table the night that you left in a panic feeling like your heart was sinking to your feet with no explanation. Your classes had gone unattended, your assignments undone. Whatever had happened, whatever had been the reason, you were reverting back to the ghost lost at sea that Kate had rescued, and it broke your heart even more than feeling like you mattered to noone as much as they mattered to you.

Kate had been leaving voicemails, texting you frequently, even when you didn't answer, even when her messages just became a red notification bubble, she'd text again. She told you about her day, about her classes, about the dining hall and how she missed your hugs. She asked if you were okay, but she never dwelled on it. She was perfect, and you felt like an asshole for just watching her messages collect and not having the energy to pick up the phone even to just let her know you loved her all the same as you did last week. You felt like she was the last thing you deserved. Her goodness, her kindness, her sweet smile and humor. How could you deserve something so good?

A sudden knock at your door scared you, though it was soft and admittedly timid. Nobody had come by in months, nobody realized just how far from shore you were, nobody spared you a second glance, nobody ever took your name home with them. You were something so temporary it almost made you fragile, like a child's favorite trinket that never left the shelf in fear of it breaking or becoming lost. You had been sat on a shelf collecting dust, the novelty of you wearing off and thin.

You had hope that whoever was at your door would take your silence as rejection, but you would never be that lucky. The next knock was persistent, and this time, a whimsical pattern. You huffed, untangling your limbs from the soft throw blanket you'd lived beneath for the last few days, and dragged your feet toward the door. Not bothering to smooth the frizz in your hair, you opened the door with lifeless eyes. Your heart further plummeted at the sight of Kate before you, illuminated by the yellow hallway lights, drenched from the rain and holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers and her favorite pizza.

"I know you don't like pizza, but I also know that you probably haven't eaten in a few days and... Well I tried to make you that pasta you like, but then Lucky needed to pee and I took him out and it started raining and I left the pot on the burner- oh god, that was your favorite pot. Uh, I brought pizza. I figured... I figured that if anything you could peel the cheese off and just eat the dough like a weirdo. Or, or if you want something else I can totally go get that!" She rambled anxiously, looking all over your face for any indication that her showing up was the wrong decision. She'd tried to give you the space you wanted, but eventually her heart won out.

For the first time in days, a smile pulled at your lips and a sound that someone resembled your laugh broke the silence you've kept for days. Your voice was hoarse, barely a whisper from so many days without it, but just hearing you, seeing you standing; still alive, reassured Kate. "No no, uh, pizza is perfect." You promised, opening the door wider for her to step inside.

Kate couldn't fix everything, but she could throw you a lifeboat and help to pull you back to shore, and she would. She always would, and you'd do just the same for her.