Devil's Impact

BOYFRIENDS!

When Ryan got a late lunch invitation from Chester two days later, he was happy to accept it. Jason had graciously offered to keep an eye on Julien, and Ryan happily made his way over to Padrino's - the little hole-in-the-wall sandwich shop that Forrest had introduced them to early in their time at Score. But Ryan hadn't been there in ages, and his stomach rumbled as he got out of his Lotus and locked the door. Chester's little red sports car was parked a few spaces down, so Ryan headed on in.

He wasn't sure why he was nervous as he pocketed his keys and shoved his hand through his dark hair, letting it flop back to the side as he headed for the single glass door of the restaurant. Because I know he's wanting to talk about how their therapy session went the other day. Whatever he tells me, I promised Jay I'd fill him in.

Ryan sighed as he opened the door, but all thoughts of serious conversation left the moment the smells of Italy hit him square in the face. It was glorious - tomatoes, basil, meat and cheese and garlic - he sucked it in as he looked around the space he hadn't seen in years. It was exactly as he remembered it though, with round tables covered in red and white tablecloths with pot belly candles on each one to set the mood of the dim lighting. There were people sitting around and a line to order sandwiches at the front, but thankfully it wasn't too crowded since it was past the usual lunch rush. He spotted Chester, already sitting at a table towards the back, and Ryan waved before he went to the counter to order his sandwich.

Chester watched from a distance. He already had his meatball sandwich in front of him, but he hadn't touched it yet. He was waiting for Ryan to join him. Instead of eating, he'd been sipping on the single beer he'd ordered to go with it. One beer with lunch would be fine, and Chester wasn't worried. Besides, his nerves were jumpy, and he was hoping the hint of alcohol would help him stay calm and maybe even loosen his tongue a little while they talked.

He picked up his phone and shot Ryan a text.

Chester: FYI I got a beer with my sandwich.

He hit send, and he laughed as he watched Ryan pull his phone from his pocket, and then look his way. Chester held his bottle up, and he laughed again at the smile on Ryan's face before he stepped up to order. Okay. He'll be sitting down with me in a minute. I'm not even sure how to start this conversation, but I promised Dr. Grohl I'd do this. I promised Mike.

Chester rolled his lips together as he sucked on his piercing. Ever since he'd known Ryan, they'd always been friends. It was a label they'd both been comfortable with and one they'd both defended adamantly over the years to everyone. To Mike. To Jason. To Forrest. To Talinda. To people at YRS and Carnal Delights, and anyone else who tried to say differently. It was an uneasy feeling to think about telling Ryan that maybe they weren't just friends anymore. Maybe now, they were more. And that was scary to Chester as he thought about Mike and their marriage and the problems they were trying to resolve. Mike said if I could admit that there's more to me and Ry, that I'd understand better about him and Jason. I want to understand, but I don't want to take a backseat to him either. There's no point of me and Mike staying married if that's how it's going to be.

That was a hard thought, and Chester pushed it away. No one was getting divorced. At least he was hoping not. It was why he was sitting at the candlelit table now, watching as Ryan came to join him. This conversation was important, and Chester had spent the last two days trying to talk himself out of it, but he couldn't. He needed to face reality. He and Ryan both did. If Mike's right, maybe I should take a backseat to Jason sometimes. Am I holding Mike back from loving him the way he wants to?

It was confusing, and Chester had both hands over his face when Ryan sat down across from him. Chester had no idea how he was going to say what he was thinking, and he really just wished it was all easier. When they had agreed to move into the L house and share a bed now and again, he never thought it would turn into something hard. Something complicated and full of feelings and emotions that were confusing.