Devil's Impact

An Appointment with R.S.

Mike looked over the top of his book, checking on the girls who were peacefully asleep in their bouncy seats. Cheese was asleep right in between them, and Mike smiled. It was mid-morning on the day after his and Chester's second counseling session with Dr. Grohl, and his husband had already left for work. Things seemed much better this morning than they had a week ago after their first session. This morning, Chester had gone to Score with a smile on his face, and Mike had hummed while he settled the girls into their seats and sat down to practice. Already the sound of his piano music put Lily and Lila to sleep, and Mike had finished his morning routine before moving them next to the couch and starting to read.

Ches was happy when he left, Mike thought as he sat looking at his daughters. We talked a lot about Ryan and Jason again last night, but it was different this time. Ches has really embraced this idea of Ryan as the boyfriend. And that's good, that's what I asked for... and what Dr. Grohl wanted him to think about this past week. Ches was all happy he'd done his homework.

Mike started to chew on his bottom lip as he thought about the beaming smile on his husband's face the night before as he talked through his mental shift from friends to boyfriends with Ryan. Which is what I've been saying all along. Once Ches got started, he didn't have any problem talking about Ryan as the boyfriend. At least he's not denying it anymore. And it should make things easier going forward, for all of us. Right?

He reached for his bookmark and stuck it in between the pages. Dr. Grohl was happy to hear about our date night. And the journals. I guess I did my homework well, too. I don't mind the journal. It's been nice to sit together and write in them. Ches hasn't even had to remind me. I even reminded him once. The memory of two nights ago made Mike smile. Lily had been extra fussy, and had taken longer to fall asleep for the night than usual. It had taken both Mike and Chester walking her back and forth in the dark living room for her to finally fall asleep, and when they went into their bedroom, Chester immediately crawled into the bed. Mike had picked up his journal and reminded his husband that they hadn't done their nighttime gratitude entry yet, and together they'd jotted down their thoughts before turning off the lights and falling asleep.

It's been a good exercise to do. Things have felt better since we started. And in a few days, Ches and Ryan get to go on their first real date as boyfriends. Ches sounded excited about that when he was explaining things to Dr. Grohl. And I'll be here with the kids and Jay.

Mike glanced toward Ryan and Jason's side of the house. The couple had taken Julien out for a quick walk before Jason's meetings started at nine, and had left at the same time as Chester. They'd be back any minute now, and then Jason would disappear until lunchtime, leaving Ryan and Julien with him as company. Mike didn't mind it. It was fascinating to watch Julien play and crawl around, and pull himself up on the furniture to make wobbly steps. Soon he'd be walking independently. Everything he did, Mike imagined Lily and Lila doing, knowing it would come fast. Julien was already almost a year old, and it felt like yesterday when Ryan had discovered he was going to be a father.

I wonder how long they'll stay out on Saturday, Mike mused as he thought about staying home with Jason. The babies will all go to sleep, and then it will just be the two of us until they get home. They'll be out on a date, and Jay and I will be here reading. Or playing Scrabble. The idea of playing board games had Mike's lips in a twisted smile. He liked board games, but he knew if the four of them weren't on a break, there would be other things happening. He missed Jason, but he wasn't about to cross any lines or do anything to mess up the fragile balance between the four of them.

I wonder how much longer this break is going to last.

The front door opened, and Jason stepped in first, standing out of the way for Ryan to maneuver Julien's stroller inside. "Thanks, Jay," Ryan mentioned as he got inside the door. Julien was already clapping his hands. "That's right, buddy, Daddy Jay did a good job opening the door for us. Tell him thank you."