(we're back to Nick's pov btw
ok ily bye)
(oh and warning this probably gives bits of this chapter away but you should know that this mentions self harm and stuff and if you're sensitive to that you shouldn't read this
also: i'm not trying to romanticize mental illness or self harm it's just a part of the story okay bye ily)
I ran out Calum's front door and saw no sign of Luke. Only his phone that fell on to the sidewalk out front. "Luke!" I yelled as I picked up his phone. I'm so angry. I'm so angry at Calum for hitting him. Luke could be anywhere by now, but one place in particular.
I got to Luke's apartment building out of breath from running so fast and far from Calum's. "Did you see Luke come in by any chance?" I asked the lady at the front desk, desperately trying to breathe.
"Who?" She asked annoyed as she rolled her eyes and placed her book on the desk.
"Luke Hemmings. Freakishly tall, blond hair that adds like 3 inches. Really hot." I explained. The lady sighed and pointed to the stairs.
"Elevator's out of service. This building's a piece of shit." She groaned.
"Thank you." I yelled as I ran to the stairs. As I stumbled up the stairs I focussed on not tripping from running so fast and trying to remember Luke's apartment number. "Floor fourteen, apartment..." I tried to remember once I reached the floor. "12!" I yelled and bolted down the hall.
The door was left wide open. I walked in slowly and looked around. "Luke?" I asked quietly. I walked down the hall and looked in his room, his sheets were a mess but he wasn't there. The bathroom was a mess. The mirror was smashed and opened. Everything that was on the shelves in it seemed to have fell into the sink. Pill bottles and shards of the mirror littered the floor.
Luke R. Hemmings: Prozac
Luke R. Hemmings: Brintellix
Luke R. Hemmings: Ativan
Advil
I saw that the Ativan bottle was completely empty and capless on the floor. That's when my heart sank. "Luke!" I yelled as I ran out the apartment and to the stairs leading to the roof.
I pushed the door opened and ran to the couch. "Luke?" I said quietly once I saw him sitting on the edge of the building with a half empty bottle of vodka and a cigarette in the same hand. Luke took a long sip before turning around and looking at me. His eyes were red and puffy, he'd surely been crying. The cut on his lip was dark but stopped bleeding and his cheek was bruised. Luke put the bottle down next to him. I walked closer and noticed he left a bloody handprint on the bottle. "Luke, you're bleeding." I gasped and ran over to him.
"Oh. I am." Luke giggled as I grabbed his hand.
"Luke, where's the blood coming from? There's no cut on your hand." I asked once I wiped his hand clean. Luke just shrugged and pulled his arm away quickly. "Did you break the mirror in your bathroom?"
"Yeah. I punched it." Luke giggled again and put the cigarette to his lips. "I was angry."
"C'mon, get off the edge and sit on the couch with me." I said trying to mask the worry in my voice.
"I like it here." Luke whined and flicked the rest of his cigarette off the building.
"Luke."
"Fine." Luke sighed and turned around to face me before standing up. He stumbled over to the couch with a drunk grin on his face. He fell onto the couch with the bottle still in his hand. "I'm sleepy." Luke giggled once again.
"Did you take those pills, Luke?" I asked, sitting on the ground next to him.
"Yeah a couple." Luke scratched his nose. "I was really shaky and couldn't calm down so I took my anxiety medication. It didn't work, so I just took all of it." He shrugged.
"Luke you can't do that!" I yelled and grabbed my phone to call the hospital.
"But my doctor told me to take them."
"Hi, my friend took a whole bottle of pills with vodka and now he's feeling sleepy so I'm afraid he's overdosing." I panicked to the secretary on the phone. "Yes, he did it on purpose. I'll have him there shortly." I said before hanging up. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I turned around to see Luke falling asleep on the couch. "C'mon Luke, we're going to the hospital." I said as I grabbed Luke's arm. He quickly pulled it out of my grasp. His sleeve felt wet and I noticed blood on my hand. "Let me see your arm." I demanded.
"No." Luke crossed his arms. "We're not going to the hospital." He mumbled.
(warning: this is the sensitive part i mentioned in the beginning ok)
"Give me it." I scolded and grabbed onto his arm. Luke's eyes filled with tears and tried to pull his arm away as I rolled up his sleeve, revealing fresh cuts covering his arm in blood. I gasped as tears fell down my cheeks and Luke's who was now sobbing. Luke threw the bottle on the ground.
"I'm sorry." Luke whimpered. "I'm so sorry, Nick." He covered his face and continued to cry. "I'm just so sad. And when Calum hit me, I couldn't take it."
"Luke we have to go to the hospital before you pass out." I cried and touched his face.
"It's fine. If you take me back to my apartment, I'll throw the pills up. Just help me down the stairs, okay?" He whispered.
"I don't know, Luke." I could see the fear in Luke's teary eyes. "Okay." I whispered and kissed his forehead.
-
I sat on the couch in Luke's apartment trying to get my head to calm down.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Luke came out on the bathroom shirtless with a towel wrapped around his arm. He looked extremely tired. He had dark, heavy bags under his eyes that were no longer bright blue. Now they were pale and dull. Icy like a glacier. I missed the bright blue more than anything. The eyes I saw stars in were drained of all light.
I told Luke I was going to stay with him, tonight. I grabbed a blanket from his mom's room and laid on the couch. "Nick?" Luke sniffled and walked into the living room. "Will you sleep with me?" I got up and followed him into his room. "You can sleep in my t-shirt." He said quietly and tossed me a black t-shirt.
Luke turned the light out and joined me in his bed, wrapping his arm over me. "Goodnight, Luke." I whispered.
"Goodnight." Luke sniffled again before kissing my cheek.
I listened to Luke's faint snores and stared at the wall. I can't sleep. My eyes moved to Luke's arm that was wrapped around me. After making sure Luke was deeply asleep, I slowly unwrapped the towel from his arm. The cuts look like they stopped bleeding. I brushed my thumb over the old and faded scars I've never noticed. This wasn't just tonight, Luke has been doing this for a while. I felt tears well
up in my eyes again while I wrapped the towel back around his arm.
"I love you, Luke." I whispered before I shut my eyes and held onto Luke's hand tightly.
-
WOW IM SORRY THAT SUCKED
AND SORRY IF ITS TOO SHORT AND FOR GRAMMAR/SPELLING ERRORS
if you wanna give me shit for putting self harm in this, just know that i gave a warning so it's really useless if you do
AND BTW IS THIS MOVING TOO FAST I CAN'T TELL
NICK'S LIKED LUKE FOR A WHILE
