Bewitching Rebecca Patricia Armstrong

Chapter 40

Freen

Hearing rejections and insults from Becca is painful, so painful that it stung my heart. But seeing her kissing someone else shattered me. I feel like i've been ripped into pieces with no chances of being fix. My heart ache so much. The pain was unbearable. And watching her not even pulling away from Charlotte is a torture.

But I know I deserve it. I can't imagine how Becca take it when I brought different girls at the house only for her to see me fucking them. It's truly a fact that it hurts the most if the person you hurt hurts you back.  I swear to be an eternal optimist, to hope for something without any assurance of what it will cost me.

Optimism is a wonderful thing until it blinds you. It’s important to be optimistic, but it’s just as important to be realistic. It's necessary that you understand the statistical chances of one thing happening versus another... and that you can potentially deal with seeing the person you love with someone else.

I stood up, swallow the lump in my throat and walk out of that damn door. It felt so heavy... The sight was too much.

"Pull yourself together Freen!" I whispered. Yet the pain in my chest heightened. I didn't notice the tears that fell down from my cheeks. One after the other, until I lost count of how many fell off from my eyes. All that I know is that I ran out of the building and went towards the mini forest adjacent to it wanting to hide myself. Wanting to disappear.

I let my feet take me somewhere. Somewhere far from the building. Far from where Becky and Charlotte is.

"Damn it! Why did I even play that game! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" I keep kicking the rocks on the ground as I walk further and further. The skies were hidden behind the tall trees towering over me creating a small shed underneath.

I stopped at a big trunk of a tree. Enough to hide myself in there. Enough for me to sit down and think. I just hope there are no snakes in here. Not long after that, I heard Engfa's voice. She is looking for me, searching through the woods. She was calling my name but my voice were already hoarse from crying that I lost the energy to even announce my presence.

"Freen!" The more she called for me the more I hid my body in the trunk. I don't wanna be found. I just wanted to disappear. " Freen where are you? It's dangerous here!"

I know it is but what can I do? I just wanna go somewhere not here. " Freen? Freen Sarocha you prick! Don't you know this forest is haunted?" The moment she mention that word my hair rose up. How come I didn't know this? " Freen fine! If you don't come out i'm gonna be force to leave you out here. Just don't let the ghost come get you." I heard her footsteps echoing away, but before she can take further distance. I get out of the trunk and yelled for her name.

"Fah! Fah wait up! Wait for me!" I ran. As fast like flash afraid that a ghost might get me, or pull my legs from the ground. " Fah!"

"There you are!" I heard her exclaimed yet her voice is still far away. I ran so fast, so fast that I didn't notice the root of the tree peaking on the ground as I stumble down and fall. My knee hurt so much.

"Ouch!" I yelped.

"Shit! Freen? Are you okay?" I checked my knees unable to utter any answer to her question. And there I saw a deep wound on my knees, bleeding. "Damn it! You're bleeding!" She exclaimed. " Can you get up? We'll get you back to the office and treat that!"

She was about to lift me when I stopped her. " N-no! No Fah! I can't! Can we stay here for a bit?" I pleaded.

"You're bleeding Freen. We have to treat that quickly."

"It's fine. That don't even hurt. This hurt more than my wound." I put my palm on my chest before the tears trickled down my cheeks again. "It hurts so much Fah! So much!"

Fah's expression changes. I can see the concern in her eyes. But without words needed, she pulled me in and cradled me like a baby. " Shh. Everything's gonna be fine na. Don't worry." She assured.

"I deserve it Fah. I deserve being hurt like this. I wasn't a good wife. I hurt her a lot. I wreck her and ruined her. What I did was way past what she did to me. And now i'm already crawling away just because I see her kissed someone else. "

"Shh! Freen regardless of anything! No one deserve to be treated in such a way. I understand Becky, I do, but I also can't help but pity you. Maybe what you did hurt her but that doesn't mean you can't get hurt too. That you are not supposed to feel the pain when she hurt you back. It's a lesson Freen. You have to undergo different battles to win her again. Maybe this is Becky's way of mending herself but your feelings are valid. Don't lose hope. This is just the beginning. Becky can do something more than this." Engfa replied. I nodded. Letting my head fall back on her shoulder crying my eyes out in it.

When I no longer feel the pain in my knees, I stood up and pulled Fah with me. " Let's go now." I exclaimed as we walk out of the forest.

Once we were out. I heave a deep sigh and plastered on a big smile. A smile that hides a thousand feelings beneath the darkness.

"Are you okay?" Fah asked.

I nodded. " I'm okay."

Engfa walked ahead of me, my head hung low as I walk behind her. I'm so ashamed. Why did I even ran away? Becky wasn't even mine yet and i'm already acting like this.

It was one step closer to the door of the office when I suddenly heard Becky's voice. It seems like Charlotte and Becky are talking about something serious. Char was silent on the other side while Becky keep talking until char asked her a question.

"Did you regret being with her before Bec?" Char asked.

There was silence... Then Becky spoke and I waited for her response.

But I wish I never listen and eavesdrop on their conversation.

Because the thing that broke me the most is hearing Becky saying the most painful thing I ever heard.

"I did Lottie... Sometimes I wish that Freen wasn't the mother of my child."