Adopted By BTS

Bonus #4

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I walked down the street, tightening my grip on my bag and pulling my cap further down. Every now and again I looked around me, hoping no one had followed me. The panic only subsides for a few minutes before I feel the need to check my surroundings again.

Unfortunately, ever since Namjoon and Jin announced that they had adopted me, my life became incredibly hectic. Obviously my dads predicted some kind of public attention, but not this much. It wasn't as bad in the beginning, I suppose. Or at least, I hadn't paid much attention to it. For the most part, people tried to be respectful. That only lasted so long. Over the past few months, it's only grown worse.

I walked quickly home, glad that I didn't pass by anyone who wanted to talk with me or take a photo. That tends to happen a lot. Sometimes I don't mind it, but other times I just want to continue on with what I'm doing. Sometimes I don't want to be bothered. Sometimes I just want to go back to a little normality.

"How was your study session at the library?" My Dad asked as I walked through the door. I looked at Namjoon, put on a smile and nodded lightly.

"It was good." I assured him, but offered little else about my day. "I think I'll just head to my room for a bit. I need to organise my notes." I explain.

He seems satisfied with my answer and so I carry on towards my room. I close my door tight and fall to the floor, leaning my back against the hard wood. I tuck my knees into my chest and try to relax a bit.

I didn't want to tell Namjoon that on my way to the library this morning there were cameras clicking pictures of me. I didn't want to tell him that I opted to stay in the building for an extra two hours once I was finished, to make sure no one was outside. I didn't want to tell him of the anxiety I had walking home just now. I didn't ever want to tell him any of it. I don't want either him or my other dad to feel bad about it, like it's their fault. I don't want to put more of a burden on them than there already is.

I sigh lightly, getting up from the floor. I decide to unpack my things and open a book or two onto my desk. I don't organise any notes, I just make it look  like I am in case someone walks in. I sit down by my desk, scrolling through my phone. And then I see it, article after article about my outing today. I figured something like this would happen, so I'm not that surprised really. The lack of surprise doesn't make it any less frustrating though.

I see a text from Yeon, linking one of the articles I likely had already seen. He's asking if I'm alright. He's the only person I've shared my struggles with. Yeon doesn't exactly understand most of the time, but he's always there for me. I don't answer his text, just stare at it in my notifications bar and then swipe it away. I'm not sure I'm in the mood for a conversation right now.

I find my headphones and plug them into my phone. I turn on my favourite playlist, sinking into my seat as I turn my volume up all the way. I close my eyes and listen to my music, wanting to clear my head. It doesn't last too long. Within just a few songs I feel a tap on my right shoulder. I practically jump in my skin when it happens and quickly take my headphones off. It's just one of my Dads. Jin.

"Someone's jumpy." He laughs. I attempt a laugh and a smile too, but I know it likely looks fake. While I know I said I didn't want to bother my Dads with my problems, I can't help that a small part of me really wants them to ask and keep asking about how I am. Maybe if they keep asking, I might just crack and tell them.