Bambina

36. Game night.

"Call me if anything, okay?"

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat, "yes, daddy."

"Give me a kiss."

I lean in, and I feel his lips against mine, soft and familiar. He makes me feel safe, but sometimes his protectiveness borders on suffocation. He doesn't understand that. But I'd rather be suffocated by his protection than by my own fears. It's less painful.

"I love you," he murmurs against my lips. "I love you," I reply.

I step out of the car, towards the entrance. As I walk into the building, I clutch my books tightly to my chest, trying to disappear into the background.

My heart races as I search for familiar faces, relieved once I spot Danielle.

I finally reach my locker, grateful for the momentary reprieve. But as I twist the combination lock, I can't shake the feeling of being watched. I glance around nervously, but there's no one there. For a second I miss Alex. Why would I ever miss Alex?

I force myself to focus on the task at hand, retrieving my textbooks and notebooks. But every sound makes me jump. I'm on the edge.

I know I'm being paranoid, but I can't help it. Ever since that incident, I've been on edge, constantly looking over my shoulder. Having Danielle helps me though, Hannah as well, but she's been too busy with hooking up with football players. Her and her hormones. Not that I should say anything. My hormones are equally crazy when it comes to Raphaelle. 

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. I can't let fear control me. I have to be strong, for myself and for my daddy.

With that resolve, I slam my locker shut and square my shoulders.

But as I turn to head to my first class, I bump into someone, sending my books scattering across the floor.

"Watch where you're going!" a voice snaps, and I look up to see Jake standing there, a smirk playing on his lips. Jake? He's back? Oh no... I thought he was in Germany, on exchange. Shoot. 

My heart sinks as I scramble to pick up my belongings. I wanna call Raphaelle, tell him to come save me as he always does, but it wouldn't be fair to Jake. He doesn't even know about Raphaelle. Doesn't know how he deals with people who hurt me. And frankly... I don't want him to be hurt, even though he has been a jerk towards me since forever. 

"Leave her alone, Jake," Danielle pipes up. She's always been fiercely loyal, even when I don't deserve it.

Jake just laughs, brushing past us with a sneer. I hate how he makes me feel small. And not in the way Raphaelle does. This guy is just... he is bad news. 

"Thanks, Danielle," I murmur, grateful for her support.

"Don't mention it," she replies with a smile, linking her arm with mine as we walk to class together.

I try to focus on my classes, but my mind keeps wandering back to that day, that day when I said no to him, to Jake. The way it went down replaying over and over again like a broken record. What if I had done something differently? What if I had just played along? What would have happened then? Surely nothing good. That was the first time I ever had the strength to say no. I felt so proud of myself. But I was still haunted by that guilt. Of having turned someone town, causing them pain. Even Jake... twisted as he is, I don't wish him pain. 

The bell rings, signaling the end of the day, and I exhale a sigh of relief, eager to escape the suffocating atmosphere of the school. Danielle walks beside me, chatting about her annoying cousin and how much she's thankful for me tagging along for tonight, but my mind is elsewhere. I can't shake off Jake. What am earth am I to do now? Either I can pretend these things never happened and face a hard firm spanking when Raphaelle figures out, or come forth and be honest and have Jake suffer consequences I honestly don't think he deserves. Gosh... I just want those barbies right now and let my brain melt and go away for a while.