Pacify Her | Paige Bueckers

twelve | critics

"What the..." Ava trailed as she walked onto the basketball court, looking around. Paige had asked that she come here. There were rose petals and a wooden rectangle table with four chairs. The table had a red cloth and a candle lit with glass plates.

Ava squinted. Across the room, she could see somebody walking in, it looked like Azzi.

"Oh hell no!" Ava semi-panicked, ready to run. But she bumped into Paige. Paige knew that Ava would do this exact thing when once she saw Azzi.

"She won't hurt you," Paige muttered, her hands fully wrapped around Ava's wrist. "Today we are having a meeting, all four of us."

"Four of us?" Ava squinted, thinking about who the missing piece to the puzzle could be. Paige nodded.

Ava noticed that Paige was wearing a black blazer with no undershirt, slightly exposing her chest. Her hair was in banana curls. She wore dress pants and black velvet loafers. Black shades were tucked into her collar. Ava had only been wearing a simple white body suit with black UGG slippers and a black open front crop top. She sighed, turning back toward the table. She noticed that KK was also present now.

"Come!" KK waved her hand, sitting diagonal from Azzi. "Take the seat beside me." Ava and Azzi briefly stared at one another. Ava's actions were finally donning on her, making her realize that she may be a bad person after all. She slowly walked toward the table, with Paige behind her, incase she attempted to run. KK stood up and pulled out Ava's seat for her.

"Today," Paige said as she sat down beside Azzi, "we're gonna hash it all out at the dinner table." Ava rolled her eyes, to which KK nudged her arm.

"Respectfully, of course" Paige added.

"We're gonna go in order of oldest to youngest," Paige smiled as she looked around. Ava took note of Azzi smiling at Paige as she spoke. "That means that, if I'm correct, I go first, then Azzi, then Ava, then KK. Though KK most likely doesn't have much to contribute to this conversation."

"We good?" Paige asked after a moment of silence, still looking around. Paige was a natural born leader, something that reeled in both Azzi and Ava. Azzi was not shy, Ava had learned, but rather reserved and hated having all eyes on her. As for Ava, she had leader qualities when in small settings. But she could never amount to the kind of leader that Paige was. Paige was born for the sold out stands and swarming fans. KK used her humorous ways to cope with the anxieties of being a big name. She was by no means a leader, but she knew how to come off as such.

"First, I think that we all owe apologies in one way or another" Paige suggested. Azzi immediately scrunched up her face and KK seemed confused. While Ava did stiffen her jaw, she understood that she most certainly owed people apologies.

"Y'all can make faces all you want," Paige shrugged, "but I don't make excuses for anybody. KK told Ava information that she knew was not supposed to be disclosed. Azzi went out of her way to approach Ava with self-serving intent and told insiders inappropriate things about her. Ava locked Azzi in an elevator and spread rumors online about her. And I ultimately started this whole thing by not setting boundaries from the jump."

"That was backhanded," Ava folded her arms, referring to Paige's acknowledgment of her own part played. "'By not setting boundaries' ultimately means you're indirectly blaming me. You're saying that I was the problem and you should've been a savior." Azzi immediately added to the conversation.

"You are the problem," she folded her arms, "there's nothing wrong with what Paige said."

"And you're a doormat," Ava spat back. "Keep defending Paige through thick and thin while she cheats on you." Azzi was never, ever hot tempered, but Ava just knew how to make her temperature rise.

Azzi chuckled as both Paige and KK looked back and forth, unsure of if they should just let the two talk it out or not. "I have never met anybody that's proud of being something along the lines of a home wrecker" she retaliated. "Literally, that's pathetic Ava. Your whole existence as a student at UConn is based on Paige and maybe even me. It's like you don't even have a personality, do you even know who you are?"

Ava was stunned, she didn't have anything to say back, for once. But Azzi didn't stop there. "Oh, no," she continued, "you don't know who you are. Because if you did, you wouldn't be using women to fulfill your sexual fantasies. At least the rest of us can acknowledge, to some extent, that we're gay."

Ava's eyes grew watery, but she didn't say anything. "Okay," Paige tried to interject, but Azzi stopped her.

"No," Azzi insisted, "I'm not done. Telling people the truth is what builds their character and Ava's seems to need some piecing together."

Azzi looked back at Ava, who was teary eyed, with her eyes glued to the table. No tears fell as Ava looked downward, however.

Azzi scoffed, "don't you think I wanted to cry when I was stuck in an elevator?" She asked Ava. "Or how about when I woke up to sports pages reporting that I pay hush money to hide my sexuality? Or, or, what about the moment that I figured out your real motive; the moment I understood that you were using your fan club to lure Paige. You think I didn't wanna cry then?! Did anybody come to my rescue and alleviate my feelings? No!"

A tear rolled drown Ava's face as she sat in thought, taking in Azzi's words bit by bit. "You are a horrible person, Ava." Azzi let out, her voice straining on the word "horrible." It sounded like Azzi herself was gonna cry. "And it sucks because you're beautiful. You've got some kind of charisma of an unknown origin emitting from you. But when someone gets to see the real you, all that goodness dies."

KK wanted to defend Ava badly, but a part of her agreed with Azzi to a small degree. Ava did have some twisted ways deep within her. So she opted to place her hand on Ava's knee instead. As for Paige, anything was better than Azzi beating the shit out of Ava. If it had to be a stern talking to, then so be it.

"I think," Paige interrupted, looking at Ava. "Maybe therapy will help you?" Azzi nodded profusely.

"She needs it," she added, looking at Paige. Ava understood the message a solid five minutes ago. Now, it felt like Azzi was just trying to hurt her. "I hate seeing wasted potential. You're very keen, Ava, you could do way better shit than this. Stop hurting people." Ava stood up, Paige and KK looked at her.

"Where are you going?" Paige asked as Ava wiped tears away, sobbing into her arm. Azzi wasn't good at being assertive, she felt mean when she was. She hung her head back, ready to apologize.

"I'm fine!" Ava shooed KK away. "She's right, I'm a bad person. I'm sorry." And as if this were the dramatic ending to a television show, Ava ran off and out of the basketball arena in tears, just wanting to be alone. Once a far enough distance, no longer sobbing, she looked up the school therapist.

Ava knew that she was off for years. But hearing somebody else tell her it, seeing nobody interrupt and defend her, Ava knew it was no longer a wondering thought. No, in fact, it was a true fact.

"I wish I was normal," she sighed to herself, still sniffling as she entered her apartment and slid down the front door. Once calm enough, she checked her phone and saw that she had several missed calls from KK and Paige. Azzi even texted her saying "please come back," ironically enough. But Ava didn't feel like she deserved any of it. After all she did, these women still cared for her.