Anatomy of Heart

Memories XI

Angelina's POV

I don't believe a single word Thomas has spoken since he entered the room. But that doesn't mean, none of his words make sense. To my outmost dismay, it does, and thats what I am scared of. In the most worst of my nightmares and the delusional mind of mine, I never imagined that one day I will learn that the father I saw dead, is actually alive and breathing till today.

My world that I was believed growing up is now shattering. And so am I.

My knees became weak, as I lost my balance and fell on the bed. Even if for a split of nanoseconds I agree with Thomas's words, then why hasn't father tried to contact me, knowing how much miserable my life was without him. I have lost my home where I grew up, the friends whom I thought would sacrifice everything for me, the boyfriend whom I love. And now the father whom I respected the most? Am I that much unwanted in this world?

I didn't realise I was a crying mess, until Thomas's rough yet warm hands caressed my cheeks, rubbing off the tears that were falling, endlessly. "Why?", my voice broke when I question him, "Why do I lose everyone? Why me, Thomas?", I can't control my crying, I don't know how to stop this. He shouldn't be the one to rub my tears, Aaron should be the one. He actually shouldn't be with me here, today. "Just go, Thomas. I need you to leave", my voice sounds extraordinary cold, unexpectedly.

His hands movements stopped, "Ellie, you-"

"Just. Leave", I say. He shouldn't be here with me, rubbing off my pathetic tears. He should also leave me. Everyone I love leaves me. I am the problem, just like Aaron said that one time. "Just fucking go!", I scream at him, but neither he flinches nor he moves. Instead, he kneels down infront of me, not leaving my shoulders, as he squeezes it hard, as if reassuring me that I am not alone.

But I am. In this damn, fucking world, I am all alone.

I try to push his hands, away, but he was too strong for me. I give up, as I fall to the bed, thousands question still swirling on my mind. No, I have to control myself, if I want answers. I look up to find, Thomas's pleading eyas encapsulating me into his reassuring presence. And that was when I ask my first question, "How do you know?". If he answers, again something unexpected, I am done.

He sighs, "I just know, Ellie", he rubs my back, "I know it is hard to process, but you have to trust me", there is a tone of pleading in his voice, as he tells me. Something that forces me to believe his words. Fuck this trust! He is asking me to trust him, after breaking the trust I had on literally everyone in my life? How stupid of him!

"Trust you?", I chuckle, rubbing off my tears, violently, "You are asking me to actually trust you, Thomas? After everything, I saw, I heard, I fucking felt, you are asking me to trust you?"

"I am not asking you to trust me after what you have felt or gone  through, Ellie! I am asking you to trust me, because I know about this feeling", his voice almost broke at the last part, but he was too steady for me to even comprehend that. All my confusions were gone to that one question, that I know will break him, as much as I am broken now. But I need the answers, and thats what matters the most.

I have to selfish for once. I rub my tears, as I take a deep breath, framing the question in my mind before asking this man infront of me, who just casually shattered my entire world.

"How do you know this feeling, Thomas?", even though I am crying, a part of me is still afraid to break this man infront of me, apart. There is not a single speck of emotions in his dangerously cold eyes, but I can see them hidden behind a hard exterior wall, that he has created to hide them. Inspite of everything, a part of me is wanting to just break that wall apart, and witness the innocence of this guy who has been hidden himself behind this cold facade.